Oh wow. Powerful. A nice original twist to Sev's repentence. The end is like a final thunderbolt in writing, so strong. I love it.

THat's kind of sad, but good nonetheless. I guess that would be the strongest punishment of all, because eventually you get used to the other things, but not to human forgiveness.

Great story. You portrayed Severus really well.

How do you do it? I could never be as good as you! I love your writing.

great ficcy. very well written. I see no grammatical errors, or misspelled words.

Keep up the fantastic work! You have a gift!

Poor Severus!

Oh, I like this...I do hope JKR gives us the whole story someday!

:-)

aw... well written.. m00f

Another fantabulous ficlet. Really. I hope there are more to come.

Ok, third tentative.

Hm, the style is good, at least for my ear, that doesn't belong to a native, however.

May I write a critique? Of course it is my humble opinion, so don't take it as a flame, please (snappy people scare me to death).

I think Snape was kind of a nerd in his youth, with very few social abilities that's why I fail to understand the thoughts stream you gifetd him.

Why? Hm, because I think it is too early to think that average things have a deeper taste.

If you had placed this scene a bit after school, ok it could have made sense to me. But, still in the school, during his last meal I don't know, maybe I am horrible and soulless but I would have been thinking "Do this people really deserve to be saved?".

I mean they are interested into silly things, worthless and useless. There is no intellectual richness to preserve.

Have they real warmth? Inner generosity? A moral value? Beside being living things.

That's why I liked a lot the beginning when he feels proud of the Dark Mark, it made sense to me, he is seventeen nevertheless. When you are in that age you don't care of average good usual little things...

Ok, this was the critique. Of course when a fic is written, at least for a native, it is the definite version, so you can take the critique and do whatever you like with it, but I don't expect you to change a single line to please me :p

Ok, now the final comment the answer to the main question: did i like it?

Yes and no.

Yes the begining.

And yes the end: memory and your conscience is the worst hell.

No the middle part.

Has it sense? I hope

Yet another "aww.." but of another kind... Poor Severus! ::huggles the Severus::

::sigh:: Twas so good... _

Hugs! (have to run - I'm in England and if I stay any longer I'll have to pay for another hour at the Internet cafe)

-Miracle

Aw... I love Sev!

Understated with a striking impact. Well done, Strega.

Mh - I like when you play in Severus mind, when you give us a look into his thoughts - wonderful!

A new take on Severus' inner thoughts. Not new ideas, mind you - it's all pretty cliche in that department - but a new way of writing them. Good job.

Wow... It really was beautiful... Although also sad, too. Thanks!

Marek