   Roni-chan
2009-12-15 . chapter 13Okay, so. Real review, as promised. This so much deserves a real review. :D
First of all, I'm extremely grateful for having gotten the chance to read this masterpiece. It was just like shutting my mind off after long working hours and enjoying myself - because it was so enjoyable I just couldn't stop reading. I'll make sure to read your remaining stuff as well, and, of course, review. ^^
So, about the story... what I most liked was how you pictured the links between the characters. Some of the fictions I have read which have the same kind of pairings, just picture them almost at the same way. You know... meeting each other, falling in love, harsh characters soften in a moment... etc. This time, everyone was different in their own way. At first, I have to admit, I didn't really like the way you made Ren change - if this was a story about only him and Pilica, I would have said that it would need more time to change him like that. But then again, he was only a side of the cube, and anyways, I just realized he had six years to change! That's plenty. ^^ Also, you changed Pilica for him too. Originally she wasn't this... well, loving? Vulnerable? She was - as far as I can remember - a woman almost as harsh as Anna. Though, I have to say, she still was more sensitive and expressive about her feelings, but... well, just not like this. All in all, their relationship was a bit too much for me, not because it wasn't well written, but because people change IN relationships, not when they haven't even established it yet. I mean, it would have been totally OK for them to act like that if they had been together in all those 6 years, but they weren't! (Of course I'm not speaking about the just-getting-married state, but at the beginning of the story.)
All right, next couple, next topic. Most of the Horo-Tamao fics I had met with, pictured them as liking each other but being too shy or whatsoever to approach. I seriously fell in love with how you made them fall for each other - the denials, the annoyingness, the hating, the forced cheesecake-kiss... it was more... alive, I think. More realistic, I daresay, as realistic as an anime-based fanfiction can be anyways. XD I always thought that Tamao was the one who needed a bit of self-change. It's the other way around than with Pilica or Anna: she needed to harden, while Anna needed to soften. Remember when Ponchi and Konchi peeped at her in the bed in the anime? She was all like scared and shooing them away screaming. Now? She kicks and shouts and fights. Not scared at all. I like that. ^^
Though I have to mention that I liked the original Horo-horo a bit more. In here he was like... insensitive (until he finally admitted his feelings, that is.) He looked more like a pig, and I wasn't too fond of that.
Anna and Yoh... well, they are the perfect example of how relationships change people. Anna definitely softened, at least for Yoh. I laughed so heavily at the prologue at how you pictured her, the pregnant Okami, shooing away the annoying teenagers with a flick of her finger... that was awesome :D My favourite scene was when everyone was looking for them while they had a session... and the fact that they weren't embarrassed at all. Well, they are married after all... but still, the fact that they could stay blushless while enduring Hao's comments shows how much they gotten used to it all. (Being in a marriage, at that... and Hao himself of course XD)
As for Hao... it was kinda surprising how you just jumped back into the past when describing how and why he got where he was at the moment. I liked it nonetheless, but I was kinda expecting some kind of flashback or whatsoever. Writers whose subject is Hao are usually more all over it, decribing how Yoh forgave and what Hao felt... Whatever. I prefer this, I think. You described his feelings later pretty enough, and well at that. Hao was always one of my favourites, alongside with Lyserg and Faust. I can't help it; I'm a sucker for angst XD and Hao's soul just offers that everywhen and everywhere. ^^ I so loved the ending about him helping to deliver the baby... I somehow knew it when the chapter began. Anna saying her water broke, and they can't go anywhere, and nobody's around... it just gotta be Hao. After all, we did need some kind of development of his and Anna's relationship, right? Yoh said so.
Being at the topic of links between people, it was funny how you made Jeanne and Lyserg differ from the rest of the gang. Everything around them seemed to be holy, or something like that. Either it was because Jeanne's kind of aura, or because Lyserg is too beautiful to be a real man (just kidding!), or both. I'm kind of an imaginative person, that just made it more like it. I absolutely adored them. I don't know, was making the readers believe Hao about Jeanne being a nun on purpose? Until she said otherwise, I agreed with Lyserg on the matter. I didn't know how it would work out. I could also clearly imagine them sitting in a small kitchen somewhere in London and shouting into the telephone together... pretty cozy for an ending, ne? Aw, all in all, the epilogue was just loveable. ^^
I would say something about Jun and Ryu too, but I was never too fond of Ryu (but since this isn't an AU fic, just put into the future - I had to remind myself a couple of times that ghosts DO exist in this story ^^ -, you couldn't have seriously paired her up with Pailong, ne?), and this idea of chasing was just too irrational for me. Chasing after a guy for 6 years after a mere kiss? Nonsense. Nothing like what the Jun I see would do. Maybe the seventeen-year-old Jun. MAYBE. But the grown-up Jun? Seriously, it seemed quite ridiculous. (I don't intend to offend you with this, it's just my opinion, and after all, you can't make everyone like everything, right?) It might have been because you meant the chasing too literally. It would have been fine if Jun just longed after him (that wouldn't have been surprising even if for 6 years, after all, Ren did the same), or maybe gave away a few hints that make Ryu confused or wondering... but literally running after/away from each other? Dunno... :/ And also their ending didn't really fit... it was too transparent. I mean, I knew Horo-horo and Tamao need to end up liking each other somehow, but I definitely wasn't prepared for that stolen kiss over the cheesecake. On the contrary, Ryu's confession obviously made Jun stay and not go to China... it would have been a bit more interesting if she went anyway. This showed she didn't really want to go in the first place (she was full aware of being third weel, I am sure of it), so that means she was just running away from Ryu and her own feelings - and this is definitely not something Tao Jun would do.
I also loved the cheeky remarks you made, and not only Hao, but Faust too. I loved to see his morbid side too - most fics just show his good self, but the necromancer is also him, not only the kind doctor!
All in all (just because this review is getting way too long), I loved this story, and just want more and more and more! I'll definitely stay in touch for the side-stories, and also, WHY did you decide not to write another multiple pairings story? This was just too wonderful not to do something like that again - though, of course with a different plot, and maybe different pairings too ~ or do you only write about them like this? I don't mind, just curious. ^^"
I hope this review is making it up for not writing anything before (though it is partly because I only found you and your stories yesterday).
Take care, and write more wonderful stuff for us!
Yours,
Roni-chan
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