this story is really good but really sad.
Great writing, i love it
next time don't put so much sadness in one chpater, space it out.
but other wise its a great story

it did NOT suck monkey.. lol
it was pretty good..

heehee... its cool that you have it based on harry's parents and his friends...

lol i lub harry potter... i lub sirius! heehee

It's okay.

The POVs confuse me when I'm reading a story. Choose maybe four points of view and just write from them. You don't have to label the views.
Like so:
Christy grinned at the wild idea. Blahblahblahblahblahgetonwithit . . .
(put a break of one to two lines in between the two points of view, maybe a divider) ~
"That was great!" Lindsey whispered to herself, congratualting herself on her victory. . .and go on . . .

See, it switched from one point of view to another without labeling, and yet I can still tell who you're telling the story from.

Also, when another person talks in a conversation, you start another line:
"Hi, Kailtin," Christy said.
"Hello, Christy," Kaitlin replied.
"How 'ya doin'?"
"Fine, thanks!"

Otherwise, great story. I'm interested in more.

~tribb~

8.5 out of 10...good try Christy, and its actually pretty good, but when i read it the thing that comes to mind is "This could never happen in the HP universe"...u gotta be mor realistic...think more about "What would Rowling write?" and i think thats a good tip to take into consideration the next time u have a HP fanfic..ok...still REALLY good though...

That was so good, but really sad.:( I can't believe that happened... Now I have a question. What ever happened 2 kaitlin, and CHristy?
Oh well, it was a really ggod story and I'm glad it was kinda sad most stories alway have a happy ending.

WEE! Wicked Story! MORE! MORE!

It's really long, keep up the good work and don't give up.

I love it so far! All the marauders are really in character and the fic is so sweet. I will read the rest soon. I hope you do a sequel:) Read mine too!

HEY! The ending was so sad! :( :( :( I hope everything gets better, though! :) :) :) Great story so far!

~Me~

hey its me (cobra_20_ on neopets or eternalrage from fictionpress.net)

your story is really good. loved the plot. good job:)

i liked it alot. until lindsey died. that was evil and completely unexpected. how could you do that to remus?

dontcha think that the quidditch positions would be just A darned giveaway? Now, a bettr one would be like I am a Cancer or sumthin... lol, srry, but i speak my damn mind! anywho... lovin the storyage, so keep it up, kers? l8erage!

ok, well i like ur idea and ur actual writing is wicked awesome, but what's with the changing of POV's? I am a v. easily confused persona, so I am WAY in the dark here... its confusing me alot, so it would be really upers of superness if you could change that. OK! L8erage, and keep ritin!