You need to straighten out your story a bit. In all honesty it sucks **. Using your own charecters and using the real charecters from the movie makes your story confusing. First it goes for Miss.Taylor...?, to the comodore calling Elizibeth Swans name. It makes no sence. I sugesst to fix this chapter before you make a new one.

great fic!! PLZ update soon!
XOXO,
Christa

i thought it was strange...that was a great movie..and ur messing w/ it...but o well, i guess it might come out good...a song fic though? i don't think that will work but..w/e. yea u could've done more descrpitions, like who r da ppl?[even thou i saw it] and Abigal...i don't kno where that came from but a lil background would be nice...^.^

It's okay. I like the story. There will be another chapter soon I hope...The last bit was a bit confusing, but that would be easily fixed, if you wanted to. So yeah...
Sayonara



~~Silv~~

Far too much dialouge, and a lot of it sounds forced, jumping from one thing to another. Try adding more descriptions, and tell what's happening. You also need to establish the character better. You could give a better backstory, age, whatever else. Also, those freaky symbols that are popping up everywhere on FF.net are really distracting. I don't know what they're caused by, but It's hard to follow a story with those all over the place. I hope helped some.