  Kylie
2006-08-28 . chapter 10 I'm pretty amazed I found this story again. Last time I had checked it there was only 6 chapters, I think. I was so happy to find this and read it over along with the newer chapters, which were all very excellent I might add. Of course, that just made it that much worse when I reached the tenth chapter and realised you hadn't updated in two years. I saw the new stories, so I assume you're still alive, just that you've lost interest or something. Still, let me review.
The story is dramatic, while you can pull it off letting us have some answers is usually a good thing too. Nice job on sharing background on Malik (yes! answers!). I already like him as a character but in this story I love him! He was evil in the series, I like how he doesn't suddenly go poof! and be all roses and sunshine. Not that you're writing style would support that...
I usually dislike YGO stories where a huge group goes off to Hogwarts but you're throwing a new edge in I usually don't see and I would love to see where you take that. How exactly will the three, Jou, Anzu, and Honda, affect what's going on? Anzu seems to be magical but untrained and the other two clueless. Anzu and Yugi also seem to be a future pairing, if they aren't already together.
What exactly happened to Yugi and Yami? I know Ryou and therefore Bakura were gone for three(?) years and Malik disappeared not long after, but from the meeting between Yugi and his friends it almost seemed as if Yugi had been gone for awhile as well.
Ryou. My absolute favorite character in YGO (I don't know why I like the guy that others usually completely ignore or wimp out, sigh...). I'm not sure if I like how you write him, but I do know compared to most other writers I love your Ryou more. I don't like how he's all for giving up and being killed but I do like how he seems to have somewhat of a backbone now, if that makes sense. I was pretty confused in the first few chapters what exactly was going on with Ryou and Bakura, mainly in the jail and directly after.
Perhaps now might be a good time to point out a mistake. At the end of chapter 3 Ryou walks in the opposite direction of London and Avery gives him a black cloak and his knife. Yet in chapter 4 he appears in London without either. Did I miss a scene?
The meeting with Alucard was confusing but interesting. I'm curious as to how Hogwarts will react to him and how long he will stay with Ryou. You're giving away a lot of secrets about Yugi and his group and even Ryou's mom, Avasiah, yet with Ryou's group you're leaving us in the dark! Ryou is 'blind' to magic and seems to have some strange ability. Bakura has learned magic at Hogwarts (if I got that right) and seems to know a lot more then you're letting him tell us. Alucard in general has been keeping his mouth secret.
And that's where you left us. Yugi's group gathering, Malik appearing, and Yami Bakura leading Ryou and Alucard to Hogwarts. If it's just writer's block that's stopping you from writing, you have no excuse (look above for ideas or e-mail me). If you lost interest let's hope this stirred some back up. If you started to hate YGO and HP or have no time to write anymore well, I'm out of luck. Hopefully, you will get this and feel like writing again, if so, can you send me an e-mail? Even if you don't feel like continuing, can you send me an e-mail explaining the 'blind to magic' thing? |
  mistressKC - wanteddeadoralive
2005-12-21 . chapter 10this is one of the best fanfics I have ever read. The best I've read all day. It really is quite fantastic. I really hope you consider updating this.
Curious and odd - do you know that I was planning to write a fanfic wherein on the first scenes was Ryou in Azkaban for doing something he didn't do? Actually, it's more complicated than that and my story (well, in my head) is a whole lot different from yours, but the reason why I initially clicked on this fanfic was because it seemed so similar (at first) to my own ideas. How wrong I was - it was different, and I believe yours was much better written out ^_^. |
FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination
