I was reading your story and I thought it was good. You provided lot of detail and imagery, which is a plus for me. However, the thing I did not like was how you change from one characters perspective from another character--it confused me, greatly. But otherwise, great job.

Oh, another thing. The ending was disappointing. I love sad endings, but being in love for only a few days is not love--it's lust. Cleao should have realized that by a year time.

Also, I do not think Master Orphen rolls his eyes. Trust me, he does not.

That's all. =)

Good job. It was well writen and a nice read. The ending was ok, but I'm a die hard Orphen + Cleo fan...

Oh my... what a wonderful story! I thought that this story was so... wonderful. I can't find any words to describe my feelings about this fic. Anyways, great job! :P

Fantastic story! Very well written. A couple of grammatical errors, but otherwise great. Keep up with the good work.

Hi :D I actually read this story awhile back and just noticed that you added an epilogue.. That was really... beautiful? Is that the word I should use? I don't know... but it actually brought tears to my eyes (Lol, I'm a very emotional person!) I love your writing!!

Hey, that was the best I've read so far. Keep it up!

ok so where do i begin...hmm well first i thought this story was cleo/orphen but i guess i was kinda wrong...? anyway the way u wrote the story was fantastic with so much detail but sometimes with all that it kinda got boring but still it was good. but i was very dissapointed about the end. i mean i thought cleo loved orphen and wld just forget about pallas...and i neva expected her to acctualy love him i thought it wld urn out to be orphen/cleo. it also kinda was O/C at the end but like she still loves pallas and even the nites the spent togetha she can still imagin on! but anyway good story i hope you'll write one completely for Cleo/Orphen!! ^_^ cya

Two words: It sucked!!

congratulations! I love it. I would want to read it. I´m sorry because my english isn´t very good.
Bye!!

Is English your first language? You're use of words is absolutely fantastic, but the sentence structure is a bit iffy at times. Sometimes the words aren't used as standard either. But they are wonderful nonetheless. Well done.

This was sad, and I could picture it well. Pallas being slowly corrupted by the Salt Abbey sword, just as Azalie's attempt to master the Sword of Baltlanders before she was ready led her into a five-year journey of confusion and suffering. Majic's innocence allowing him to sense the emotional deadness behind the kind facade, and his desire to protect his Master at all costs. Orphen's pain at having to face off against someone he once loved as a dear friend, yet again. And Cleo, whose encounter with young love and its dilemmas led to one of the most tragic and painful burdens she will ever have to bear her entire life through. Great work!

WTF! that's the ending!but i want to know what is going to happen with C/O i wanned them to be together, please don't end the story here!

OK the story was great, but i think it was to
short, you didn´t explain quite well the relationship between Orphen and Cleo at the end of this chapter, becouse I love the pair O/C
f_zelda

wow... I loved it so much I'm sorry to see the end. so sad too... now I'm going to have to see what esle you've written...

no, don't end there. I want more! *snowducky starts to cry*
great story, though i wish i knew what would happen next, i hate cliff hangers.