This is well written and detailed yet a good short length at the same time. Ginji and Ban feel very in charcter in this fic, and the style of writing makes me want to continue reading on. :)

aw, sweet. lovely lil ficcy. awesome concept and great way of writing it out.
have a nice day

You put an almost epic fic into so little words.
Perfect balance of description and... everything else!

That was a very nice introspective peice from Ginji. I thought you did it very well. Well done!
^_~
DreamWeaver

That was good...Ginjiay not think much, but this shows how deep when he does think.

Ah. ^_^ Sweet without being too sappy. Leaves me with a smile, and the feeling I picked a good story to begin my day with. Thanks!

^_^ Ban must get such bad cramps when he wakes up. Heh.

This is so sweet. I like it. Please write more soon!

~fd97

My GOD.

This is beautiful. I don't think I breathed the entire time I read it. (Which makes me mildly nervous about reading your longer stories, mind. ^_~).

You have a perfect grasp of imagry and subtlty. You don't go overboard, but you sneak the images - visual, auditory... well. You appeal to every sense, and without going overboard on adjectives the way some do.

When he breathes, there's only the smell of cigarettes and leather and Ban-chan, and none of the fear, pain, or unhappiness of that other place.

God. That just took my breath away. So very *tangible*.

You've mastered the skill of saying a lot in a few words, and the far far more difficult skill of saying it *subtly*. Everything in here speaks volumes about *both* their characters (though particularly Ginji) and you do it without ever coming out and saying what they feel.

It's warm. Their love - whether portrayed as platonic or erotic - is absolutely *clear* in every sharp crackling detail. My heart hurts.

Though this is hard to find things to ask to improve, I will suggest you watch your tenses. This is clearly present tense, but you go back into pluperfect quite a bit. This can work - as it's him remembering other times - and it's quite readable here - but if you have 'Ban-chan had said', you can't have 'Ban-chan leaned' after - technically, that's perfect, not pluperfect, and represents a different time period. I think, because of how short and clear the story is, it works here anyway - but watch the tendancy to mix perfect and pluperfect in longer stories. (Perfect = 'He leaned'. Pluperfect = 'he had leaned'. Pluperfect is further in the past than perfect.)

Gorgeous. My heart still hurts. Thank you for posting this.