This is very good. It catches the Miles / Ivan relationship very well. BUT given that this is set before The Warrior's Apprentice (which is a large gap of time unfilled by Lois) then that Bothari is missing is, as someone else noted, a suprise.

I do hope you intend to continue the story.
Mike

^^great story! me likes^_^
you realy have ivan and miles in charecter, especialy ivan.
keep up the good work!
bye!
star

Hehehe, this is so funny! I love it! ^_^

Hey write more! Oh, I haven't reviwed your other fic yet, but i read it! And write more on this one too!

It's HARD to find good Miles fanfic, and this is really good! In spite of Bujold saying that she doesn't mind fanfics set in her universe, there don't seem to be very many authors writing in that fandom. So it's very nice to find one that is as well-written and entertaining as this one. You've really got the Vorkosigan-universe sense of humor down pat. My favorite bit in this chapter: "'Dendarii Mountains,' replied someone else, with the tones of ‘my god, what kind of idiot are you.’ Ivan gave up."

*grin*

Good characterization too. I'm not familiar enough with the series to know if every last detail is correct (I mean, I really *like* the books, I'm just not obsessive enough to remember the little details that can sometimes trip up a fanfic writer -- which is why I don't write Miles fic) but the Miles/Ivan relationship comes off right. I'll be looking forward to more chapters!

hello :)
i'm not very good at reviewing so i'll keep this brief. don't you just love the universe lois mcmaster bujold has created? :) her writing style, her characters, her stories have such a distinct spirit. i guess what i'm trying to say is that i think your work captures that. i hope you write more :) thank you for this :)

Hey, this looks like a good story, I hope you write more soon!

I've enjoyed the Miles Vorkosigan books ever since I first read them (and was thus sucked into collecting them, and now have the entire lot) and since fanfiction in this area is rare, it's nice to see a new story that isn't taken more-or-less directly from something that Bujold mentioned happened to them in the past. It is somewhat confusing reading from Ivan's pov when I'm used to Miles'... Diplomatic Immunity and this are helping me to realise precisely how incomprehensible Miles can be when you're not getting a running commentry on his thought processes. I look forward to reading more, so keep up the good work.

Oh, and one point of interest... I think both Miles and Ivan would have both learned how to make a bush camp in their military training, unless you're setting this in the vague period between the end of Barrayar and the beginning of The Warrior's Apprentice, which seems both likely and unlikely. Behaviour is about right for being young, but Sergent Bothari isn't there, and if it was before the end of Warrior's Apprentice, he would be. Actually, I've just realised something. It's very rare for Miles to go out on Barrayar without an Armsman or bodyguard. One would presume, that in such circumstances (if it's after WA) Pym or Roic or another would also be accompanying them. I mean, really, who wants to take care of Miles alone?

In either case, an estimate of when this is set could be useful. I think you're getting characters relatively accurate, but not necessarily the details. Hope this doesn't offend you; I've been doing an essay all evening, and am still in critical mindset. ~M

getting more interesting than I anticipated
i quite like it

*Pokeing at the amazingly incharacter-ness of everyone* That was good, and funny, except for some type-os and tiny errs in grammar! ^_^ I can't wait for more!

Ja ne,
~ Alana
"Oui caa?"

Hey! I m waiting for more, here ^_^
I m so glad somebody wrote about Ivan!

Nice little tase of what looks like it's gonna be a great fanfiction. I can't wait for more!^_^

Ja ne,
~ Alana
"Oui caa?"

Whahahahahah! Dementedpixie!Miles.

*collapsed. on floor. laughing SO hard.*

This is cat_o_ninetails, worshipping the ground you walk on girl!