 Vespera 2008-07-09 . chapter 21Very nice story. You crafted an enjoyable story with the right balance of action, adventure, drama and romance; not tipping the scale too much into melodrama or unnecessary angst, or drowning in needless action either. Solid narration, attentive dialogue, noteworthy character development, and good use of the canon characters, with appropriate non-canon characters mixed in to add conflict.
In particular, I enjoyed the evolution of Sesshomaru, seen through his interactions first with Midoriku and three centuries later, with Rin. A man that obstinate can’t change overnight, so any romance story involving the implacable taiyoukai has to deal with the challenge of opening his mind and heart without warping him horribly out of character. The seeds of caring were planted in his arrogant youth, and through dialogue, actions, as well as very insightful inner monologue we saw him come to recognize the changes in his perspective. One thing that changes us all is time, and through his experiences over the years, watching people come into and out of his life, he learned the value of taking hold of what brought him joy. You were able to carry him through many uncharacteristic decisions, including a sacrificial death, without forgetting the dark, selfish, coldly rational aspects of his personality; and that’s no easy feat. Well done.
One thing I found strange in this story is the Epilogue. Yes, Sesshomaru made significant progress within this story, making the choice to openly voice his desire for Rin to stay with him, but there’s a big gap between caring for a human and mating with a human, producing hanyou heirs. In fact, based on the show/manga it seems Sesshomaru’s hatred for hanyou far exceeds his disdain for humans. Humans are frail, insignificant creatures, beneath his notice for the most part. Rin has proven herself an exception in canon, so it’s not a huge leap of logic for their pre-existing relationship to progress as she matured. However, to Sesshomaru, hanyou aren’t simply inferior; they are unnatural creatures borne of unnatural unions. That’s a much bigger hurdle for Sesshomaru (and the audience) to conquer, and while “Reflected Past” focused a great deal on the human element, it only grazed the surface in exploring Sesshomaru’s evaluation of the worth of a hanyou. Which made the closing scene, involving the birth of Sesshomaru’s hanyou heir, an awkward ending.
I realize now that you’ve written another story that fills the “gap” between the end of “Reflected Past” and the epilogue. I haven’t read it yet, so I obviously don’t know how it ends, but I can’t help but wonder if perhaps this epilogue might fit better at the end of the sequel. I realize it’s been years since you wrote either story, but it’s just strange to have a look into the future when you have a lot of story in between. This epilogue seems to establish certain developments as fact, automatically removing the suspense in subsequent stories. We know Kagome, Rin, Inuyasha and Sesshomaru live long enough to see the birth of Inushiro, so any death or hardship they experience before this event is temporary. That Sesshomaru will see fit to have hanyou heirs is a foregone conclusion. There’s obviously a tremendous amount of story implied before the epilogue, and it’s been provided after the conclusion as been established.
Otherwise, very good read. |