Nicely written.

As advice from one writer to another, you may wish to try to improve your grammar and tenses used, it would also benifit you to read over and edit your work before you submit it fully. I liked the character dialogue and all and al this story was not too bad.

ok, is this going to continue? Just wondering. I thought it was a nice start. If it isn't then maybe you want to put in more background before you end it.