Reviews for Reshaping The Cookie Dough

Reviews For: Reshaping The Cookie Dough

LovelyBlackDress 2007-07-09 ch 4, anon.	abuseThe story is good, but I don't like the fact that you're making Angel and his crew seem... dumb. They've been fighting vampires almost as long as the Sunnydale co. and they do have experience…. Fred was in a demon dimension for years and she's almost smarter then Willow when it comes to computers. Fred she was a mathematician of some sort before she went to Pylia; Gunn has been fighting vamps since he was 12, and that’s longer then Buffy has been fighting herself, Wesley is was watcher and for a short period of time a demon hunter; Angel is 250 years old and he has lots more of experience then everyone put together. Angel investigation almost has more experience then the Sunnydale co. They might have not faced as many apocalypses, but they faced a couple of them and they’ve faced a lot of “big bads”. And when did Dawn become so witty? I mean Dawn’s 16, but just because she came out of an apocalypse it makes her all high and mighty. That the feeling I get from the way you wrote her character. I feel you’re making the SunnyDale Co. seem like smartasses. The story is good, but you're making Angel investigation seems like noobs or like they don't know what they're doing. The people from Sunnydale shouldn't be judging them; they don’t even know the full extent and the predicament the AI crew where in, in L.A. The Sunnydale crew shouldn’t be ganging up on AI crew for the things the A.I team did; if you look at the Sunnydale crew and what they did, they themselves did a lot of questionable things in Sunnydale. Ok, ok, I’ll stop complaining. I didn’t mean to ** you off or something. But from watching BtVS and Angel so many times I hate it when I see people making Buffy and her friends seem like they are always right and never wrong. Angel and Co. almost have as much experience in the field as they do, just because Buffy is the Slayer doesn’t make her always right and the one with the most experience, yadda, yadda, yadda. I know, the Sunnydale crew have faced more apocalypses, but that should have made them more wise and not I’m better then you attitude. Meh, this is just what I get from our story and this is my opinion. Don’t take this as a flame or insult; I’m not insulting your intelligence. This is your story and you’re the one in control, but as a fan fiction writer myself, I like to know what people truly think of my stories (like that I can improve my writing/story) and not sugar coating what they think. So I’m sure you’d want the same thing… If I offended you or something, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. (Wow, i think this one of the longest review I've done!)
KumoriKage 2005-12-13 ch 4,	abuseOne problem here...reality has been altered. Just like when Dawn was brought in to existence. EVERYONE has no idea that Connor even exists (at least everyone except Angel and Eve and the Senior Parters and Cyrus Vail).
Shemyaza1 2003-12-10 ch 1,	abuseNot badly written at all, however, as one previous reviewer commented, leaving spaces between the paragraphs, including the 'conversation' areas would be easier on the reader. The way you have formatted the story makes it seem as though it's running along without any kind of break. After a while of trying to make sense of it you just give up. Which is a shame because you're on the right track for being a reasonable story teller! Also, a couple of nitpicking comments: Champagne doesn't have a cork that you take out with a corkscrew. Champagne is not a still wine, but kept under pressure and a cork wouldn't be sufficient and/or keep the bubbles! Normally one takes off the foil top, uncscrews the wire that keeps the plastic cork in, then you ease the cork out with your thumbs. If you want to lose half of it by spraying it all over the place, you pop the cork with your thumbs very quickly. The pressure of the bubbly champagne forces out of the neck. ID = Identification. An Idea is something you have inside your head, dictionary definition is 'a thought, a notion, a conception. Like 'an idea for a story'. Try to do spellchecks on your document. If you're going to put something out for public consumption, bear in mind that some of the readers are good at spelling! A lot of readers are put off by bad formatting and even occasional wrong spelling.
Pline 2003-10-12 ch 5,	abuseI really like your story. PLease continue!
maliek 2003-10-02 ch 5,	abuseReally like the idea ~ Doing a great job~ Keep it up ~
Nikitangel 2003-10-02 ch 2,	abuseI'm enjoying this story so far, but I find it ** the eyes with no spacing. Perhaps you could add spaces between paragraphs? Then it wouldn't quite so intimidating.
Rebecca B Bush 2003-09-30 ch 5,	abuseNice job. I can't wait to read more!! Thanks!
Perlenoire99 2003-09-15 ch 3,	abusegood so far
Imzadi 2003-09-11 ch 2,	abuseI was beginning to wonder why this story was here rather than in Buffy, but the last sentence tells me. Is there any possibility that when we get to L.A. we'll see a gorgeous blue-eyed formerly evil lawyer? Please? Incidentally, this is very well written. You've done a great job with the characters.
shahid 2003-09-10 ch 2,	abuseok...plz show WES really cool. show him tough. also,,show Angel as the champion he is and not as a lovesick puppy. update soon.
Mgetting 2003-09-09 ch 2,	abuseBetter than I expected given the title which indicates an overly obvious plotline. I like how you brought the resolution for other characters into it for their resolution.
shahid 2003-09-05 ch 1,	abuseCool! plz update soon. when the scoobies get to LA show their reaction to Angel's team and specially the new vastly improved WESLEY! also..show that Gunn and WES are again good friends. update soon.
ShawThang 2003-09-04 ch 1,	abusehey, excellent first chapter. It was really well written and i can't wait for the next chapter. Just a thought, maybe you could space the lines out a bit so it's easier to read. Other than that you've done really well.
Talutha 2003-09-03 ch 1,	abuseLiked it lots. Stays nicely in character, which is lovely, and doesn't make poor Buffy spend hours agonising over the dead perfection of Spike's abs, which is also lovely. Because you are obviously a pretty decent writer, I'll be a bit pickier than usual - the last sentence with ChaoAnn's comment (although funny!) breaks the flow just a bit. Would Xander recognise the quote that Giles lamost plagiarises? And when did Buffy ever refer to Wood as 'sir'? But these are tiny little nitpicky things. I assume this is the first chapter, so I'll be keeping a weather eye on the story to come!!

Return to Top