Very cool, I like the idea of Mitsumi going out on a date with someone other than Keitaro, it was very funny. Only you left me dissapointed there at the end, why did he LEAVE!

good job with the story, and thanks for putting me in it. It turned out pretty well and I'll continue on from her in my own story, this was just a starting point that I needed. Ok g'night

Hmm...this is a good fic, but you need to work alittle on your format. And thought it's very tempting at times try to restain from using characters that aren't in the story. Sorry if I'm being mean ^__^; But good fic over all ^__~

The formatting is really frustrating and makes it hard to read.
You need to work on your punctuation and capitilization. Also, your "John" character doesn't have much of a character - there is nothing that makes him stand out. Think of all the characters in Love Hina. Their personalities are all rather out there, which makes them easy to remember. Your Mutsumi was pretty-well done and the dialogue was very believable but it might be a good idea to add more descriptions.

Not bad not bad

** A Baka-Alaskan/SFFAL review. **