Too bad you left this work with out finishing it. I think the story has promise, while you have problems with spelling that could be overcome with a spell checker. The grammar was OK, so you were doing fine there. I liked that you were doing something different here, bring a Ranma with a totally different background into this Ranma's world. Wish you had finished it, it leaves so many unanswered questions.

get rid of this story NOW! Its not worth anyones time.

This is cool, I hope you continue it someday soon.

Pretty interesting, quite original, sadly abandoned. The last one needs to be fixed as soon as possible!

awesome fic!but...is it going to get better?happier i mean...UPDATE SOON!

DAMN!
man u made me cry rading the 1st chapter and 2nd one was excellent! Can't wait for ur 3rd chapter to come out. PLz contnue writing and for sake off humanity, UPDATE FASTER!

the first chapter was good, but this chapter seems unrelated.

Interesting and original.
Real nice change from the run of the mill stuff.

Well, as for the spelling, you already asked for PRE Readers. I hope someone offers to do it.
I'd do it myself if i thought i was perceptive enough or had a little more faith in my own english.

Oh, and you certainly know how to end a chapter with a real cliffhanger.

Eww, this is great! Look forward to further chapters.

I agree with Rakhal, the spelling is problematic. As a self-respecting reader, I am somewhat ashamed at the fact that the massive amounts of poorly spelled fanfiction out there have degraded my OWN skills, and dulled my perception, in other words, I usually don't give a damn, most of the time. Here, though... more than spelling, I think that you simply have to polish your work a little more. I mean to say, I see several scenes that are too... fast. I think that with a well-placed word here and there, you could improve the story far more than you'd think.

Heh. Maybe I should start taking my own advice.

You know, this has the potential to be a good story, but the spelling in particular is really dragging it down. Mostly peoples names, but a few other things.

In the first chapter, Ranma has lungs, not lounges :). When I hear one lounge being destroyed and the other being damaged, I think Ranma needs a builder :)

In the second chapter Ryoga lunges, not lounges :)

Peoples names. Ryoga HIBIKI, Ranma SAOTOME, NODOKA (not Nadoka).

It's a shame to see a good story being dragged down by silly things like that. And it is a good story. I want to see how this new Ranma interacts with the canon world. And for that matter what happened to the old world Ranma left...

--Rakhl

Ack! Cliffhanger! Wah now I have to wait for chapter three! (reviewer uses demon head) Start writing now! Sorry about that. Loved this chapter.

This fic seems pretty good, spelling and grammar are decent, as is the story. It'd be nice if you somehow brought in the canon universe.

This is an excellent fanfic. Reminds me of many other Ranma fanfics that involve him being unable to do something.

Like a deaf or blind Ranma. This one would be one that could not breath well so can't really be athletic. I find this VERY good and the grammar is also good. Yupper a whole lot of good in this fanfic.

Hope you continue it!

I think this is an excellent beginning. Don't pay attention to people like FTFCHRIS. I'm not exactly sure what he thinks growing up in the hood has to do with this story, but I doubt he's ever lived there either. And it's totally plausible for someone who privately feels weak and useless to lash out physically and/or verbally at other people. I work in the mental health business and have experienced this for myself on both a professional and personal level. Keep up the GREAT work!!