Amazing, and heartwarming story and ending, thank you so much for writing it!

Really stunted and awkward dialogue at times, but other then that a very well done and interesting fic. One of the best examples of the Ranma/Nabiki pairing in my opinion.

I liked the way you wrote the relationship between Ranma and the Tendo sisters. I have a fondness for Ranma x Nabiki fics and I thought you got them together well without hurting the other characters too badly. The bureaucratic mix-up was an interesting twist even though it took away Ranma's decision to choose to marry Nabiki. But I suppose that's the way his life goes. And he did have the choice of staying married so that's good.

Great story, it was an enjoyable read. I look forward to your next offering ;)

Interesting start, but this section needs editing to read Kuno & Happi not Cologne..

"Not good. She tried out for Juliet, and she didn't get the part. She was told she wasn't lady-like enough. Then Kuno and Cologne destroyed the set while trying to impress Akane and the director."

Genma quickly grabbed the platter and shoved into the hands
[shoved _it_?]

"why don't you speak to anyone."
[Interrogative missing its question mark]

Then Kuno and Cologne destroyed
[and _Happosai_]

As she pulled another pencil from her draw,
[drawer]

drawer as the recounted
[as _they_?]

"So, wha happened?"
[what]

Kasumi started cut some cabbage.
[cutting]

Chapter 2

Why couldn't she ask Nabiki? She's doing nothing but read some stupid magazine."
[Blatant dodge though it may be, he does have a point]

Unfortunately, Kasumi was concerned that Ranma was having a hard time fitting in.
[It’s a bit late for that.]

I know they train all the time.
[This looks like an interjection that disjoints the flow of the narrative]

when they "train" in the morning.
[trained]

Obviously her sister didn't see the trap that was being laid.
[Dunno, ‘resignation’ in the very next sentence seems to contradict this.]

When she noticed that he started mimicking her pacing,
[Dunno, Ranma always seemed more the ‘assimilate’ than ‘mimic’ type to me.]

Trying to get Akane to open up when she was angry wasn't hard to do, but it did take patience.
[It seemed relatively simple if I remember correctly, but either way Akane isn’t angry. She’s depressed.]

"You know Ranma is worried about you."
[Missing comma after ‘know’]

leaving no doubt in Kasumi's mind that she likes him to.
[too, though I have a problem with this sentence in that it seems like Kasumi’s only now figuring this out. My understanding was that she figured it out quickly, and never did anything because it wasn’t her place.]

Kasumi smiled at Akane, and teasingly said, "Oh, look at this! You like him, don't you!"
[That seems...extremely forward of Kasumi]

that Ranma would allow the house and dojo look like a disaster zone.
[Like he did during ‘Happosai’s revenge’ arc?]

would rather been training.
[rather _have_ been]

Chapter 3

"And I promised I never tell any one."
[The verb tenses for ‘promise’ and ‘tell’ don’t match, and I feel that there’s something else grammatically off about the sentence.]

Pausing, she breathed softly in Ranma's hair and caressed his neck.
[OOC: despite the fact that Nabiki wouldn’t likely do this, Ranma would not allow her to. Shampoo has a particular talent for making his brain shut off, but when she latches onto him he still consistently tries to extricate himself and then put some distance between them.]

was sweating so much he needed a sponge to wipe dry.
[This leaves an impression that he’s got (and uses) a sponge.]

Ranma and Nabiki kept up the exaggerated politeness throughout the meal, making a game of it.
[A game, I’m not sure. In Ranma’s case, I’m sure he’d be snide about it. The only time I can remember that he ever used an honorific, he used it sarcastically.]

so he wouldn't have the time for trouble to find him.
[Or for him to find trouble, as when it comes for you, it _makes_ time to trouble you even if you don’t have the time to deal with it.]

She reached out, and touched his hand,
[Impossible: when Ranma’s on the fence, his hands are slightly out of Akane’s reach.]

I get this strange sensation that the Ranmaverse has been turned on its head, and yet almost nothing’s happened. Kasumi’s character has been stretched (within believability), Nabiki’s OOC, and Ranma is just allowing everything to happen without signs of trying to keep up the status quo like his canon self is wont to do.

Good story, though not chaotic enough, it seems, to be true to Ranma 1/2 fasion :)

Hmm, curious development.

This was well done. Oh I saw a complaint or two in the reviews about Nabiki being reinvented, but then having characters change from their canon tendencies is fine as long as it is a compelling story and internally self consistent. Again, all in all a good story. The only thing significant that comes to mind was how much Ranma was hurt protecting Nabiki combined with the unlikelihood of Nabiki being attacked by random people off the street. I would have also expected Nabiki to have at least basic self defense skills given her upbringing and her mercenary nature, at least to the point of doing a little better than she did.

Thanks heaps for writingn that wonderful story
from the bottom of my heart!

Very Good story. Damn glad you didnt make it a Ranma/Akane pairing, I cant stand Akane personally, her character has no real life to her, unlike Nabiki who is just a wealth of possibility.
Thanks for the entertaining read.

Mor

I liked this story a lot. I found it very believable even with the development of Nabiki's feelings for Ranma. I would have to say that this is one of the best Ranma and Nabiki stories out there.

Wow...nice story. I really liked what you did with a lot of the characters. The grammar did have some problems here and there, which you obviously know. ^^

I hope you're still around and writing. I'm sorry to hear about you Ranma/ SM xover not working out. Kind of funny how things can take on a life of their own, ne?

Well, anyway, thanks again for the fic!

Nice nabiki ranma fic

nice sweet ending, wished you could have gone more in detail and have ranma ending up marrying all three tendo sisters, thats right all three ;)

This was a nice, entertaining story. It's not the best story I've ever read, but it is on my favorites list.

The biggest problem I had with it was a feeling of de javu I had while reading this story. The relationships progressed at a nice enough level, but occasionally it seems like a relationship is progressing and then seems to revert to its original form.

It was a good story and you should feel good that you finished it.