i like this story, but i have a major problem. back then, in the 18th century, men - well, gentlmen - did not swear in front of a lady and ladies NEVER swore. Not ever. Especially someone who had been raised as a Southern Belle. So why, do you make Susan and Timothy swear to each other (i.e. "Honey, I know that I loe you and shit like that..." and "No I didn't fll on my head, just my ass...") It really bothers me that you do not use the lingo at that period of time. You really should have continued the story in the same word choice as Ann Rinaldi because she really captured it perfectly, do you not agree? Look back and read the "Last Silk Dress" and then read your story. You will see what I mean. This is a fine story, but you just need to tweek it to make it 'great' in my opinion.

PLEASE ADD TO YOUR STORY SON! NO, RIGHT NOW! IT IS GREAT!

yey thats awesome! teehee good job b

wow! this is going pretty well! but i think maybe that you could space out the sentences a little better. its kinda hard to read the story when its all in one paragraph.. good plot tho! :)