I absolutely loved this story! :) Brilliant plot. :D I especially loved the Aiden part. Bit like what Midnight Blue developed on with her MOM. :D Loved the ending as well! :) Making Harry get charged as guilty for a crime he didn't commit was awesome! And you managed to keep him good all the way through the story.

Only issue I had with your story is that you do what I do when speaking a foreign language (I'm assuming you're not a native English speaker) and miss out words so the odd sentence doesn't make sense. But by jove it was (and still is) a good story and you only made the odd mistake here and there with the language. :) Is a beta someone who checks your work through before you post it? Might be a good idea to get one of your fans who's a native English speaker to become your beta so that everyone can appreciate your fantastic story(ies).

Hope you write a sequel to this if you haven't already!

Thank you so much for writing this! :)

YOUR STORY HAS GOOD CONTENT. HOWEVER THE WRITING IS BROKEN AND IN PLACES VERY HARD TO READ AND UNDERSTAND. BUT THE PLOT IS SO VERY GOOD. I DID ENJOY IT AND LOOK FORWARD TO FUTURE WORK. YOU JUST NEED TO LEARN TO WRITE IN BETTER FORM, SO YOU WILL BE UNDERSTOOD. THEN YOU WON'T LEAVE THE READER TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE SENTENCE IS SAYING. GOOD LUCK WITH FUTURE WRITINGS. YOU ARE A VERY GOOD STORY TELLER.

What on earthn is up with your sentence structure? You miss out words and or phrases all the flipping time! Sort it out as it makes it next to impossible to read let alone understand!

Err, stopped reading at chapter 7 when I couldn't stand the spelling and the (worse) grammar. Spelling is easy to overlook, but when I have to *guess* at what the author means, thanks to entire missing words, it's not even fun to read. Here are a few examples, and even *in* context they don't make sense:

-I will just need a hair from your you would? (A hair from where exactly?)

-I have retrieved your lost is with me in the dungeons. (His lost what: pet skrewt, Harry, sanity?)

-So u care about a piece of HAIR that looks like me, but u were willing to watch the real me get the Dementors Kiss (Netspeak, really? That's not spelling, that's laziness.)

-I just magic. (What? Aside from toddler grammar, does he *use* magic, or *is* magic, or *wants* magic... or just wants this fic to be "magically" handed over to a talented beta?)

For a first time story it was fairly good. No one expects and excellent story the first time out. If anyone does they need to write and publish their story.

I do think you need to re-read and correct some mistakes to this story. Not just spelling mistakes (the Gods know I can't spell or understand the use of grammar, nor am I that interested in learning it.) but it seems that either your brain was going faster then your fingers could type or your machine was slow and left out words to some of your sentences.

It's a shame you're not writing any more, I loved this story. There were times though when words - sometimes many I think - were left out of sentences. If you ever decide to edit this and take out the mistakes I'd recommend a beta reader; I'd be willing to do it but I've never joined as I'm not a writer so you wouldn't be able to contact me.

there are a lot of sentences all throughout this fic that are missing one, or several, key words. It made it very difficult to figure out what was happening so, even though the fic is complete, you might want to just go back and re-read it so that its easier for the next person who comes along to read it.

Have not noticed this before... (it's been a long time since I've read your story) you have a LOT of words missing in this story. The only thing I can think of is that I just supplied the words as I read it the first time. You really need to go over this again and edit it; almost every character speaking has some word (or more) missing in their sentences.

Great battle scene, but it kind of got absurd when Ginny kissed Draco in the middle.

But hey, all's fair in love and war in fanfiction. For example, I enjoy a good Harry/Voldemort story, no matter how improbable.

The best thing about this story is the fast-paced action. There is no time to get bored. It's like a dream or stream of consciousness. There are so many creative ideas, perhaps enough for two stories instead of crammed all into one?

The occasional missed word doesn't bother me. Anyone with any sense can complete the sentence in their mind while reading from context. Such as for example- Severus Snape ladled the from the cauldron. Obviously the word potion was meant to be in that sentence, so why get all riled up about it?

That was brilliant.

good interesting story. however, there are places where it seems like words are missing

Can you pleas get a beta to look over this? I really like this story but there are so many mistakes in it that only bring down the story. There are multiple words missing from sentences so most sentences don't even make since, Actually thats my only problem, There re a lot of words just missing and it is very confusing trying to figure out whats going on... this is a really good story it just needs to be edited..

Dumbledore never learns. HE decides on a new name for Harry without his input. HE decides that Harry will become a dueling master teaching at Hogwarts after seven years in Azkaban without asking Harry. He's more of a coldhearted bastard than Snape.

God what is this utter bullshit? It's so badly written it's not even funny. No decent characterisation, zero credibility, absolutely no sense of pacing and as if all that weren't bad enough this "story" is littered with incorrect spelling and incoherent sentences. What the hell? Utter waste of time /rant

good story..probably would be a great story if you went back over it and repaired some of the missing grammar. Don't think I could do it as my grammar sucks too. LOL Anyways..I had several good cries while reading it. If I cry it's a good story.