Your writing style really jars the readers attention, shifting from point of view to reseting time farther back. Try connecting all the scenes together and moving from person to person inside the same time frame. Other than getting a spell check and a beta reader, you really need to stop capitalizing letters of words.

Akane Jogged in. this should be: Akane jogged in to the yard.

I hope you have great success in your writing endeavors.

Okay, I'm glad Akane got what was coming to her, but WHY did she get charged with Ranma's Murder?? I'm confused exactly to just HOW did he die? Did he kill himself using the now discarded knife, or did Akane use the knife on him? You weren't very specific. *lol* If he did it himself, they can't really charge Akane for murder can they?

hey could i see the lemon, i'm interested.

this is a really good story, i like the way it switches between the two. can't wait for the next chapthers.

Nice stories so far, the transitioning each chapter is problematic, (though I do understand the reasoning) especially as there are sections that repeat the same events with minor differences...

Still I look forward to the next chapter :)

You love writing yourself into a corner, it seems.

Should have sticked with Nabiki or Kasumi as one wish recipient. It would have been easier to focus. Introducing that many elements in a story is counter productive. Tacking the same problem in, when the situation got better isn't helping, neither.

And I do agree, Ranma's looking darn flat right now, it's amazing the sister's still interested in him.

you've reduced Ranma to a one dimensional person who never thinks or acts for himself. On paper and in his journal he's intelligent and normally he's very assertive but you have Kasumi ordering him around like a slave and him calmly accepting it and her orders to become a true woman whether he like it or not, and Akane manhandling him. The only alternate I actually like it Nabiki's and even in her's he never speaks up and asserts himself. At first I thought it would get better and Ranma would grow a backbone, but it just got worse where I looked. Kasumi uses her wish to improve her life and innocently destroy Ranma's identity, Soun creates a reality where his daughters are so cold and would definitly only further errode his life, and Akane assumes almost total control over his life.

you have a ok story it just seems pointlessly over complicated and hard to read

I like the idea behind this story but the constant switching between what seems to be completely seperate stories is very confusing... especially with how similar they are. If you have a VERY good reason for keeping them together, such as an eventual combination of them, then I recomend longer chapters. This will probably help the reader keep the two stories seperate in their mind better. Although I would also recomend it even if you did seperate them, they're just too short. Because of all that, I can't even think of continuing this story in its present state... it's been driving me absolutely batty!

I like what I have read but it get's a little dizzying with the swiching of veiw point's. I also would like any lemon's that you have written. My question is will you pair Ranma up with the following,Nabiki/Akane/Shampoo/ Ukyo? Will Ranma be Nabiki's lesbian lover and how will the includion of both her little sister as well as Shampoo and Ukyo alter this?

I like the story, I really do,and seeing Akane getting a second chance is fine but Soun?! Not that I object to the premise of Soun of all people have pre-knowledge iof what is about to happen-and how his wife survived is somehting I REALLY wanna know, but this needs to be moved to the start of a new story. The fic title is "A Sister's Wish" and really should just be limited to the three tendo sisters. Outside of that, not bad at all!

You should have just remained with Kasumi and Nabiki's tales. This Akane is a completely unknown version, and Ranma would have labeled her a complete whacko from the get-go and proceeded to avoid her as much as possible.

The basic problem with this chapter, as I see it, is that you have 'psycho' Akane returning to the past...unchanged, in any real way. She's still psycho, meaning, if anything, she's MORE likely to abuse and kill Ranma even sooner than in the original timeline.

GREAT CHAPTER! (*x4) Looking good.

GREAT CHAPTER! (*x4) Akane can cook.