Belated greetings from the Fic Exchange (and please accept my apologies for the delay - RL suddenly sucked me up).
Just so you know, I have a tendency to note things as I see or think of them because that way I know that I've caught them all. I know that it can seem a little nitpicky but it's not intended to be read that way (it's just so that I know I've said everything that I wanted to say).
"Sh." Hermione scolded without looking up from her book, 101 Things You Probably Won't Learn About Magical History in School but Might End Up On Your NEWTS Anyway, "Ms. Jones will hear you."
I think there should be an exclamation mark after "Sh" and a full stop after "Anyway".
Jones, the kind but spacey
I think the "the" should be replaced with "a".
who would be taking care of Ron, Hermione, and Ginny for the rest of the summer while Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were on an assignment from Dumbledore.
I think you need to reword the tenses here because they seem a little mixed up and there's quite a bit of clutter in it that can be removed. It might make more sense to word it along these lines:
who was taking care of Ron, Hermione and Ginny for the summer whilst Mr and Mrs Weasley were on an assignment for Dumbledore."
As an additional note (and apologies if I am pre-empting this) but it doesn't seem IC for Mrs Weasley to willingly leave her children (especially given her Boggart).
Hestia, along with Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, was a member of The Order of the Phoenix; a group of witches and wizards headed by Albus Dumbledore that were working to defeat Voldemort.
I'm not sure that this is needed. You've already implied that Hestia is a member of the Order by virtue of saying that she's taking care of the kids for Molly and Arthur.
Hestia was a small witch with bright black hair and pink cheeks. She was quite motherly although she always seemed distracted, she also had a very. unique taste in decorating. The house had a peculiar smell due to the incense burners in every room. Each room was also covered in candles and strange looking objects.
You've repeated the idea of Hestia being easily distracted here - you might want to remove the first reference because otherwise it seems as though you've run out of things to say about her. In addition, you might want to consider moving this up to the paragraph where you first mention some things about her personality. That way, the ideas all remain connected so it's easier to form an idea about who she is, what she looks like etc. Finally, you might want to consider re-wording this slightly so that it seems less stilted. For example:
A small witch with bright black hair and pink cheeks, Hestia was quite motherly although very easily distracted. She also had her own unique taste in decor, having placed incense burners, candles and other strange looking objects in each room that gave the entire house a peculiar smell.
"I don't care if that bat does hear me, she's nutters!"
There should be an adjective before "bat" because it doesn't make sense on its own. Also, as a Brit pick, we don't say that someone is "nutters", we say that someone "is a nutter".
Hermione reprimanded tiredly.
"him" should be added after "reprimanded".
"She's quite. different." Hermione had finally put her book down in her search for the right words to describe the odd woman. "I still can't see her as a friend of your mum's."
I don't know if this is an ff.net formatting thing, but there's a full stop after "quite" that shouldn't be there (but I don't know if that's because it won't let you leave ... so apologies if that's it). Also, I think you can lose the "had" after Hermione.
Ron said grumpily, "And I'm not surprised she's a friend of Mum's. They were school friends from the late sixties. Ms. Jones never left the sixties, Mum did."
The comma after "grumpily" should be replaced with a full stop. Also, I don't think the second part of the dialogue quite makes sense. It's too expositional and I think you can get the same meaning across by stripping it down so that it's not quite as in-your-face. For example:
She's only doing it because she's a school friend of mum's, anyway. It's just that unlike mum, Ms. Jones never left the sixties!"
Ginny sat back and watched as Ron and Hermione fought. It was highly entertaining and besides, Ginny liked Ms. Jones. As strange as she was, she seemed kind, and Ginny could tell that Ms. Jones meant well.
This is the first time you mention Ginny, and I was a little surprised that there's no previous allusion to her being in the room. Also, you keep coming back to saying that Hestia is strange - you've already established it and I don't think it needs the constant repetition.
Hermione rolled her eyes and Ron lost it. "Hermione, don't look at me like that! I'm right! You know that I'm right! Ginny, back me up! Ginny? Ginny?"
"Erm. What?" Ginny said distractedly as Ron jerked her out of her thoughts.
You've contradicted yourself here. On the one hand, you've got Ginny watching the fight and enjoying the spectacle, but here you've got her lost in her own thoughts. I think that the two need to be reconciled.
boyfriend, Dean." Ron said sulkily.
There should be a comma after "Dean" instead of the full stop.
"No, actually I was thinking of,. erm. Harry."
You've got two full stops on either side of "erm" (again - apologies if it's because of the ff.net formatting).
Ron asked, suddenly perking up, "Why?"
The comma after "up" should be replaced with a full stop.
"I'm just worrying about him. You know. Now that people know that To- Voldemort is back, he is free to do. things. I just don't think Harry is very safe."
The "you know" should be run into the first sentence about worrying about him as it doesn't make sense as a stand-alone. There's also a full stop after "do" that shouldn't be there. Finally, I'm a little confused as to why Ginny should be worried about Harry now. Given that this is post OOtP, they already know that Voldie is back (in fact, they know after GoF) and they know that Harry is protected at the Dursleys in some fashion.
"Dumbledore has set up protections for Harry at the Dursley's." Ron said as if speaking to a little girl, and not someone who was almost his age.
The full stop after "Dursley's" should be replaced with a comma.
"I'm worried about Harry, too." Hermione announced, "Harry's going to go crazy locked inside that prison of a house. He doesn't know what is going on in the wizarding world-"
Comma instead of full stop after "too" and full stop instead of comma after "announced".
Harry didn't take Cedric's death the way we thought Harry would
The second "Harry" should be replaced with "he".
In boredom, Ginny glanced at her watch, which looked like a perfectly ordinary muggle watch. Her father had tinkered with it for a bit, so that it would display little messages underneath the time. It reminded Ginny of their clock at home. Right now the watch read 10:30. The message was: Time for bed, young lady! Ginny agreed that it was a good idea, and left Ron and Hermione to their argument.
This is a clunky paragraph - you need to strip out some of it so that it reads more smoothly. For example:
Bored, Ginny glanced at her watch. It looked like an ordinary muggle watch but her dad had tinkered with it so that it now displayed small messages beneath the time, just like the clock in The Burrow. Right now the watch was showing the time as 10:30 and the message was: Time for bed, young lady! Ginny agreed that this was a good idea, and left Ron and Hermione to their argument.
She just hadn't adjusted to this new house, that was all.
If they're not at Grimmauld Place then I think you need to explain why and also where they are.
Hermione was a smart witch. She could tell that Ginny was having a nightmare. Hermione had read all about magical and non-magical dreams. All the books she had read agreed on one point- don't wake someone up who is having a nightmare, especially magical ones! It's safer for them to wake up on their own.
You don't need the first sentence (everyone reading knows that Hermione is intelligent). I think you can strip this down to simply saying something along the lines of:
Having read about magical and non-magical dreams, the only thing the authors all agreed on was that you shouldn't wake someone who is having a nightmare.
All in all, I don't think this is bad but I do think that it needs some work. You have the beginnings of a good idea here but some of the phrasing lets it down. You've repeated a lot of things that really don't need to be said more than once and there are other areas (e.g. where they're staying) that doesn't quite make sense. I'm not quite sure that I agree with your portrayal of Molly in absentia - even if she and Hestia were school friends, I don't think that Molly would leave her to look after her children if she were as ditzy as you suggest. Some of your dialogue is quite stitled and too expositional - I think you need to figure out another way of giving the back story in order to keep in interesting. Finally, with the first scene, you need to make it clear from whose perspective it is. You start it off as a third person observer but midway it seems to switch to Ginny's perspective and that's quite confusing.
You do have some nice touches though - Hermione's book title is v. clever and the watch that Ginny is given is a good reminder that the Weasleys might be worried about her.

Pineapple Queen from TIP, but that name was already taken here :) Heard about your review dilemma, and decided to check it out once I got home. Er...I was distracted, so I'm doing it now.
Loved your story--there will be a continuation, right? The name of the textbook that Hermione was reading was cute...
-Pineapple Queen

Aw, great job, buddy! :D
I really like the start to this; the last line is especially making me want to know what happens next. The characters are all pretty in with canon so far, and I enjoyed watching Ginny's point of view of Ron and Hermione's arguments. XD
There are a few nitpicks in there, but they're not really anything to be worried about, and are only things that get perfected with more writing. :)
Anyways; good start, and yell at Hermione to wake Ginny up already! :P
-Jules. x

I like it, Dancer! It's an extremely interesting setup for a story. I love the way you've fleshed out Hestia Jones, to create another "barmy baby-sitter". Is there a subtle suggestion in your writing that Hestia and Arabella might actually be related? I do like you you have Hestia as having "never left the sixties".
A small quibble on Hestia and Molly being old school friends from the late sixties. If you follow the conventional timeline, with PS/SS being set in 91-92, Charlie can be pegged at being born in 1967, and Bill could be anywhere more than nine months older than Charlie. I really don't think that Molly became pregnant with Bill until she and Arthur had left school. The end of the fifties and the early sixties might possibly be a better timeframe for them to be at school.
I like Hermione's lecture to Ron about why Harry is stressed and lacking in contact with the wizarding world. And I'm sure that Hermione's constant nervy mentioning of the OWLs is because she's worried for all three of them.
I love Ginny's watch. Was it Molly who suggested having the messages such as "Time for bed, young lady!" displayed on it? Arthur always stikes me as the sort of man who fights the battles that are worth his time, and lets some of the others slip by into the hands of Molly.
Magical dreams are an interesting notion. I like how you have set up to explore the idea in more detail. Do magical dreams mean that a branch of magic is being exherted in the dream, like Harry's Voldemort dreams, or uncontrolled magical episodes, like when they are children?
The punctuation in some parts of the fic is a bit sporadic, with full stops where I'd normally expect ellipses or commas, but I'm not sure if that is you or ff.net. I do have to mention, however, that the plural of Dursley is Durseleys. An apostrope isn't needed in that situation.
Altogether, it looks like it's shaping up to be an interesting story. I'm sorry I didn't review earlier, but I've been a bit busy, and I wanted to take the time to give you a decent review.

I'm intrigued by the idea of magical dreams. Is this just a reference to the dreamer being a witch or wizard, or is there something different about them, and the way they effect the dreamer?

Just one chapter, and already a hook of an ending. I imagine you'll get asked this a lot, but: You've got the next chapter on the way, right?

There's a couple of places where you've made minor mistakes. Nothing major, just thing like having both ,. together instead of one or the other.

The dialogue seems a little forced at times, especially when Ron's talking. Remember to use contractions, especially when there's an argument taking place. Ron especially is not one to use 'proper' grammar.

You've described Hestia Jones well, already fleshing out the personality of a new character. An incense burner? She must remind Ron of Trelawney. No wonder he hates being babysat by her.

I often find it's the little points that make a good fic, and I like the idea you have with Ginny's watch: It's exactly the sort of thing Arthur would do.

You've made a promising start. I look forward to reading more of this fic.

Hi Dancer, thought I might check out your fic, since you seem to be in a bit of a dilemma reviews-wise. Anyway , I loved the line:
"101 Things You Probably Won't Learn About Magical History in School but Might End Up On Your NEWTS Anyway"
I thought that was brilliant. And you've captured Ron and Hermione well, they're in character. Their fighting is so cute!
Ginny's watch was a nice touch.
Umm, I'm never good at giving criticism, I'm afraid, unless I'm beta-ing! I'll head over to Ch2 and tell you what I think...

Be merry!
Rach

Yo! greetings from TIP!

loved the story, could be a bit longer though.
its a great start. i can't wait for the next chapter.

Wow, Dancer, that was awesome! I followed the link you posted at TIP, and I'm *so* glad I did. I'm really anxious to see where this goes.

Peace, love, and all things Harry Potter,

!~*Gretchen*~!