Your stories need to be from ONE persons point of view, not two, or three. Its better with one, because you start to feel like you are that person, and it makes the stories easier to read too. And also, slow the events down a bit. Makeing the days go by too fast makes it harder to believe, and to understand.

Concrit up ahead:

Your grammar needs work. “When quoting, you use the comma like this,

*headdesk*

BETA, darling. Get one. This story is quite drab and...well, I can vaguely see a plot, but it really is more pointless than anything else.

Your character is obviously a Sue. Just in case you somehow haven't realized this. I don't really understand...her. Blatant self-insert.

Also, your canon characters are so out of character that I'm tempted to throw my computer out the window.

And...I cannot stress this enough: no Blink 182. That song does not exist in your story's time frame. It just...no. Bad. No Blink 182. Before you decide to go off on different bands, I'll clarify a bit more. No Avril Lavigne, no Maroon 5, no Evanescence, no Britney Spears, no Linkin Park, nothing. None of that exists. Especially in England...at Hogwarts.

Also, Lucius would not be appreciative of anyone singing muggle band songs in his home. He wouldn't be content with having anyone lower than a pureblood in his home. This is all what we call canon. Read the books carefully.

Is your shift key stuck, possibly? You see, CAPITALS TEND TO DISTRACT PEOPLE QUITE A BIT. I would recommend fixing that pesky little problem and instead using a simply (but very powerful) exclamation point. (!) Just one.

I do hope that you'll go over your work in the future to at least have grammar and spelling nice so that at least we cannot find something to complain about in that.

Best wishes for this story, but I would recommend you get rid of it, and if you're inclined to do so, post it over with the correct changes made.

Although, truthfully, I don't see why you need to make up a new character (a self-insert at that) when you have so many minor canon character running around through Hogwarts.

It's funny that your sue sings a song that wasn't even WRITTEN at the time she was singing it. *giggle*

Get a BETA, re-read the books, and try to make your characters a little less two-dimensional, please.

...Grammarcheck, or a beta. Get either one...or both. Just so you know, you need to capitalize the first letters in sentences and in proper nouns.

Your character is also very monotone. I suggeset you work on your characterization. In short, she has the personality of a card board box.

this is and odd odd story, im not really understanding it right now, and the whole chapter being a song was a little wierd too lol thats ok though, i guess

hehe I like your story:D its so funny lol keep going

well Blah...fine make it a cliffie see if I care *sniffles* well that was an excelent chapter thx for updating

Love always and forever
Sarah/Harry Potter all the way

COULD YOU PLEASE UPDATE THIS STORY I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR A REALLY LONG TIME AND I HAVE BEEN VERY PATIENTA BUT I THINK I AM ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING DRASTIC LIKE SAY...FLAME SOMEONE'S STORY? SO IF YOU DON'T UPDATE I WILL PICK THA BEST STORY THAT I HAVE READ AND FLAME...wait yours is the best story I've ever read...GOD DAMNET! WELL FINE BE THAT WAY I'LL JUST HAVE TO FLAME ONE OF YOUR OTHER STORIES THEN UNLESS YOU UPDATE.

what the **?! I hope this isn't the end or i'll be mighty **, and plzmake something happen that will make it so jamie and Draco can be alone plz?
love always and 4eva Sarah

It was okay. I'll look out. ^_^

I can't wait to see what happens. it's a good story.