You first posted this almost a year ago...please continue! This is beautifully written and reads like a novel. I love Liz and there aren't enough fics about her. I hope you write more than just fanfic!

*sniff* Oh, man. I should have waited until I got home from work to read this. It was wonderful. Morose, and well-thought out. I love your portrayal of Young Liz, she seems so real, and so alive in this. It's amazing.

wasn’t really theft, Liz rationalized. He must’ve noticed it when they’d brought her to the bus stop.
Haha, that perfectly describes a brother and sister relationship. This is great and I hope you decide to continue it.

I just finished Defending Bjork, so I decided to read this one next, even though I've never really been intrigued by Liz. I love the way you wrote this. I was kind've using this story as brain laxitive tonight, but that's far from what happened when I read it! Thanks for writing!! I really appreciate it! I must stop this flagrant abuse of apostrophes!!1

I'm not sure how to start this beyond saying that it was brilliant. For a long time I've hoped to discover Liz's story and I like what you've done with it so far. Hell, I was nearly tearing. Dying to see what comes next...!

Aww, the beginning where she was looking out the window was great! I try not to like Liz because Jess doesn't, lol, and that's my way of thinking, but I couldn't help it, I love the way you've written her!
I love the way you described Stars Hollow, it's nice to see it as something other than perfect. It sort of reminds me of this one movie I saw one time, this perfect little town, but if you came there and answered the ringing phone you could never leave. Lol, weird, I know, I have odd thoughts, but I loved the movie, so that's a good thing!
I loved Uptight Mable! I've met people like that! I love to mock them, they mock me, why not?
And now I want to go no a bus. I've never actually been on one and I want to go on one because I want to see the Averages and Uptight Mable! Childish? Yes, probably, but I want to anyway! :D
Oh, and the entire thing about how she imagined she'd leave and how she ended up leaving was priceless. You've made me like Liz, but I don't mean in the way I've ever liked her before(as Jess' mom), but in the way that I actually identify with and like her for a fact other than Jess. Kind of like how I like Lorelai. For her.
Okay, I won't try to explain how my mind works. Basically, wonderful job with how you've written her sums it up!
Aww, I'm sad and happy. Yes, I am a walking contradiction, but I always have been. I'm sad for Liz, I'm also sad that I identify with her so much! Or maybe not, maybe someday I'll have a son as gorgeous as Jess and I won't want him to date because no one will be good enough for him. I may even name him Jess *grin*
Okay, maybe not. But my point is that I love how you're writing her, I always just thought of her the way Luke described her, I never really thought of a Liz beyond his description. And now you've even made me question Jess which is good for you and bad for me. Good for you because I don't believe anyone has ever made me do that before.
But bad for me because... he's Jess!
But I can't help it, I mean, he is Jess and maybe his judgement's a little off. It could happen!
Anyway, you did an awesome job and I now see Liz through a different perspective and none of this should really surprise me, you are, after all, you, you could probably make me like a Narc... please don't try! Ever! Jin would never let me live that down,lol!
Anyhoo, yeah, I'm in love with this story too *grin* This was definitely what I needed to hold me over for Defending Bjork!
*claps* Bravo! Great job! Did I just say 'bravo'? I feel like my 4th grade music teacher now.
Anyhoo, as always you did a wonderful job! I love Liz! I love your writing! I love a lot right now and it's all your fault! :D

A Liz story! I always find these stories interesting. There wasn't a lot of information given on Liz in the show, and it's great when someone tries to tackle her motivations and background. I like the start you've got here and the fact that you've given Liz a lot of emotion and heart to begin with instead of making her a screw up from the word go. I look forward to seeing what happens as the story progresses and how you decide to ultimately portray Liz.

Becka! You fantastic, wonderful, woman, you! Wow, I really enjoyed this. I'm so happy you finally wrote this down, it's an excellent idea. I love the bus scenes intermixed with Liz telling her family she was leaving. "She’d get accepted to some fabulous university in New York, and everyone would be so proud. She’d be the first Danes to go to college..." I loved Liz's hope for the future. Everyone has those perfect plans, and it sucks how they never, ever seem to work out the way you want. I really love how you're portraying Liz, and I'm really looking forward to more. Wonderful job.

Hi Becka, or MahliaLily (which I think is one of the prettiest pen names around, although I have no idea how to pronouce it. Random. Sorry.)
Very, very nice beginning. I loved how you introduced the characters and their interactions with very little dialogue. YOu could really sense the deep relationship between Liz and her family--I loved the lines about how her father was proud of her, very touching. And I loved "Uptight Mabel"--as one who's frequented buses many many times, I thought I recognized her (you did miss the "semi-crazy-talks-loudly-to-himself" person--he's usually at the front right behind the driver. Dear me, is this a random review or what).
This was my favorite part:
"No one ever left Stars Hollow. Not really. Even those courageous souls who ventured out into the big, bad, scary world of higher education ended up moving back eventually. They told themselves it was because Stars Hollow was a great place to raise a family – a warm, caring community – but really, they just wanted safety. A net to catch them when they fell. Shelter from the storms of reality. Stars Hollow was like a giant black hole – no matter how far or how fast you ran, its life-sucking force would eventually pull you back. The only way anyone escaped was by dying. And, even then, their memory always lived on, trapped forever."
You poignantly caught the difficulty of a small town (I'm from one that's about 250 people, so...) and really got a sense of the town too. I loved it.
Thank you for sharing your writing with all of us gg junkies. Keep up the fantastic writing.
Julia

beautiful piece. you can see so much of jess in your Liz. I love how you really got into her head. She's not an evil person. She wanted to get away. She wanted to be on her own. Something I can realte to, lol.
I love her thoughts on the bus. I love how she was leaving to avoid becomeing a cleche, and knowing how it turned out...there is a beautoful sad irony there that you captured with such powerful subtly.
In a piece I wrote, I have someone pointing that out to Jess. "Jesus, I've seen hundreds of people like you. Its ironic really. People so terrified of conformity, that they become a cliche."
anywho..
People rarely portray Liz with such a beautfful honesty. Few give her such a legitment mind, and you did such a beautiful job with this.

Simply fantastic. Touching, amazingly written, the feelings are so real. I'm not good with reviews, but I can't wait to read more, because I love the idea and I love your writing and I want more. ;)

Can't wait to see where you're gonna take this Becka. It's very well written, alot of background information. :D

You did it! This is a great start! It's exciting to read her thoughts, to get a feel for her character and to see how much of her came to be a part of Jess. Jess is more like his mother than he probably wants to think he is. ;) I loved the way she borrowed Luke's backpack and that she named the lady on the bus Uptight Mabel. Perfect. I hope this isn't the last we see of Luke and their father in the story. I'm looking forward to reading more! Keep it up!

OKay, Becka, I know that you're amazing for what you do with DB... but i can acually say, truthfully, that this is such an amazing, touching rendition of how a charecter who -as of right now- has only been briefly mentioned. And This, this is a prime example of amazing writing. Be proud.
I can't wait to read more... of this and DB, of course. Update (both) soon!
Jayde
...I'm going to go back to stalking Ali now. ;)

Wow. Just, um... wow.
I read your post about this on the Lit. thread on sh.org, so I thought I'd check it out. I just have one question- What on earth were you nervous about?
This is one of the best written stories I have read in a long, long time. I love pastfics, especially since we know so little about Liz. I cannot wait to see where you go with this.