Hey, this looks really good so far! I hope you continue! I can't wait to read more! Haven't read any DM fic for a long time! Yours looks great!

-TVFicChick

This is well-written and interesting, but I really think you should stop breaking it up into such short chapters. I hate when people do this because it only serves to weaken the story by distracting the reader. A long story should be split into no more than 3 or 4 parts, and in my opinion, even that should only be done if it is necessary for technical reasons (available memory or whatever). Just think - your wonderful story may only be partially read because people don't bother to check back or because they get sick of clicking back and forth every 3 minutes.

Wish you had make a note that this has nothing to do with DM. Where's Amanda, Jesse, Mark & Steve????