Please let me say how much I enjoy your fic! It’s very unusual in its choice of main characters. High-quality fan fiction about Suboshi—and especially about Keisuke—is hard to find. One of my favorite things to say about a story is that it made me like or appreciate a character more, and this one really improved my opinion of Keisuke. I never really thought anything much about him, but you’ve made him a viable character.

If you would like to make this story even better, I’d suggest going through and making a couple of edits. There are some spelling and punctuation errors, but they seem to be just typos. Ironing those out will make this story read a lot more smoothly.

I think the best part of the fic is the poem. Your imagery is beautiful, but not bromidic; its rhythms feel natural. It’s very rare that I actually want to read the poem at the beginning of a fic, but yours kept my interest. Good job!

is this a keisuke+suboshi pairing? me like.. more...

Aww...it's always nice to see how characters who barely speak to each other in canon would interact...this was really nice.