LOL! I think I read this story before. :)

"Hello there, servant of the Dark Lord." A perfectly asinine - and delightful - conversation between Handir and Targash. Too many moments that amused me, so I will pick on your errors instead: you used "Elves" twice when you actually meant "Uruk-hai":

"The Elves in the corridor had heard the Elves coming for about thirty minutes before they actually arrived, so they were well prepared."
"Each of the three Elves was subsequently taken to similar, but completely separate and solitary dungeons."

Oh, and I like your silly, jovial, inebriated Elves. What a relief after the solemn load of ponces in the trilogy, to get some good "Hobbit"-style Wood Elves. (Or should that be Cave Elves? Huh.)

Ack, this has been updated again? I'd long ago given up hope on that. Ok, I need to know where Ugrot and Shagrat are, because for a moment there when Targash's party were massacred I thought they were as well, and I was most displeased. But they had split up before that, hadn't they? They're up on the surface. So I'm not quite as alarmed.

Highlight for this chapter: "He looked rather average for an Elf, which is to say that he was tall, handsome, and extremely well built. Glowing, even."

You still end your chapters in weird places that leave me feeling like there are sentences missing, but I think this must be a matter of personal taste.

I can't believe I missed this story - and it's been there for quite some time. This is just hilarious.
Me... wants... it...for my archive! Pleze! Pretty pleze! *Still gasping with hysterical laughter*
Check out and contact me.
Keep the good work up, Sharka

...how did I manage to miss THIS story? [is kind of dumbfounded] Uh, I'm a little at a loss, so I'm going to copy-paste some highlights whilst I reconnoiter...

[Chapter 1: She (he) was indeed an Orc, or more specifically, an Uruk-hai. Megania had not realized that the same features that she had assumed were Elvish could also be very Orkish.

Chapter 3: Shagrat and Targash began to gobble the flowers up as quickly as possible. The look on Shagrat’s face clearly said, “flowers suck! Evil isn’t worth this. Masochism is overrated.”

Chapter 6: “Argh!!” Targash bellowed. “SPIDER!!”

Chapter 8: “I don’t know what’s wrong with that stupid bastard, but he’s got
emotion. And now I have emotion, too […]” Shagrat really hadn’t been expecting an outpouring of emotion like that, and was rather taken aback my Ugrot’s emotional confession.”]

Ok, here we go: I was able to dig up a critism. The ending of chapter 2 doesn't work: too sudden. (I would have thought there was a problem in the chapter upload but know you would have fixed something like that ages ago.) Abrupt works for the end of Wazhur but not the chapter itself...not this particular chapter, anyway. SOME kind of response is an order, whether it's acknowledgement (humorous or otherwise) that this is the first violent death Megania-cum-Targash has witnessed in Middle Earth or just an understated one-liner description of the group reaction. Like "They heard him." Well, ok, that one's pretty dumb actually, but I'm sure you could think of something good...

Great story!

Orc slash - about time, methinks!

Aw... I always had a soft spot for angsty orcsies! I love Urgot's inner struggle!

Aww... Uruks with stomache...

" Targash had always thought that Mirkwood was a pretty forest, full of green trees and flowers and baby deer and rabbits." A Bambi fan, I guess? Mirkwood bunnies will probably have sharp teeth, hehe.

A ssmall typo here: "not an Elf *has* he had thought". Sorry for the nitpick. :)

"Only a sick, misguided Orc." Too bad there is no such thing as Orc counseling. More likely arrow fodder, I'd say.

Heh, another hilarious chapter. I' will return for more!

Heh, loved how Shagrat was enticed by the "painful" angle. How orcish of him, and what great thinking from you. Pink flowers as instruments of torture, lol!

This is probably the most refreshing LotR story I've read in a while. I will return for more.

Did I mention I've added this to my favorites list?

And can I borrow Wazhur after you're done with him? Pervy Uruk fancier here...

Seriously now, I liked the transition of ther thinking from the typical modern-girl way to this of the Uruks. Perhaps you could have slowed it down more, but it was good anyway.

"If it was at all possible, Shagrat smelled worse than any other Orc in the troop." And I'm sure that Shagrat would consider this a copliment.

Ahh... Alas, poor Wazhur!

"...the sun on steroids..." And there goes my tea: on my PC screen. Put up a beverage alert, if you please. And I loved the typos in the MS ficlet, he he.

"...She was normal, that is, except for her freakishly pointed ears and abnormally tall height..." Poor Proffessor, he's spinning in his grave. Never has he said that elves had pointed ears. Loved that paragraph as well. Is it odd, however, that I developed a headache while reading Megania's description?

And I absolutely loved the twist. Of course she might as well transform ino a male orc. A touch of brilliance, if I may add. And I'm green with envy I didn't think of that first. I do, howver, have my own MS parody: "Wish upon a str". I'd be honored if you could check it out and tell me what you think of it. Aplogies for the shameless spamming...

Well, on to the next chapter.

Very funny!! Loved it :)

Wow, this story is great--and what an interesting perspective! Who would have thought a story about Orc and Uruks could be so funny and touching? What will happen with Targash and Ugrot? Will Targash get the opportunity to meet Legolas? Please keep going!

HA! I just stumbled across your story and was intending to read all of the chapters before reviewing--that didn't work out. Your first chapter was AWESOME! "...I command you to jump into a chasm and die!" *snerk* I was laughing right along with all of the Uruks and Orcs. I thought it was so brilliant that her dark hair and pointed ears were indicative of her Orc (not Elvish) lineage. This is so creative and amazing!

Please tell me this is a joke.

HA HA!

cool! I have never read a story were they get turned into an orc = D Wow. Can you please write more soon?