|Reviews for Destiny's Choice|
| Lunatic Pandora1 3/29/04 . chapter 6
Well if it was an Eco bomb, woulden't it be possible to only use it on Erol and still let Jak be his tall dark and gruesome self?
| Curiosity Inc 3/29/04 . chapter 6
Frankly, I thought this was a good chapter. The action sequences were a little vague, and you still have some basic writing errors, but other than that, I liked it.
I'm also glad that you found a way to put white eco into the story line. There are definitely explanations to be made about white eco, and I feel that not including it in Jak II was a critical oversight.
If this is how things are turning out, I can't wait for the story to continue.
P.S. Don't forget: To my knowledge, there has been absolutely no official information about white eco. You're playing with a real carte blache, so milk it for all it's worth!
| Phoenix Flower 3/29/04 . chapter 6
It's okay that you took longer than usual to update; we all know what it's like to have Inspiration and Wall run into each other, ha ha. Anyway, I'm still enjoying this story very much. True, less happened in this chapter than in the others, but I wouldn't go so far as to call it a filler chapter, especially considering the importance of Keira's latest invention.
| Lady Blackmour 3/29/04 . chapter 6
My dear, you honor me. I'm so glad I could be of help, and I'm sorry I didn't review the last chapter. Somehow...I missed it? I dunno. So here's a review of chapter 5 *and* 6. I was so excited when I saw you'd updated...
Sque! Keira rocks. I always knew she did. Your understanding of the workings of dark eco versus white eco and all the ecos in between are so very awesome and original! I love the way you interpret Jak's transformation, and there's something very very cool about Dark Jak in print. Erol is just as horrible and sadistic as always, except now even more full of himself than before. And it seems he hasn't learned his lesson, that he should maybe focus on the big picture, instead of obsessing over Jak? I have a feeling that it will, once again, be his undoing. Your description of the new and...not-so-improved Erol is absolutely wonderful. It makes me think of Darth Vader...but without the class. So cool.
Still only a few problems, though I see you have, as you said, indeed taken what I said to heart! I'm glad you feel my critiques were useful, I only ever want to be useful. The sentences seem to flow much better, and the problems I see now are only proofreading issues, which happen to *everyone* and can be easily solved. I love watching this story unfold. You've kept everyone so wonderfully in character, in my humble opinion, and you write action in a manner than actually interests me...and that's really saying something. _
Can't wait for the next chapter!
| Krimzon-Yakkow026 3/29/04 . chapter 6
What did I think of this chapter? I think it was great, and even for a filler chapter you still have this *amazing* talent to keep it so upbeat and interesting! Lovin' this story more and more every chapter! Oh yes, I'm quite familiar with the InspirationWall deal. It's a terrible, terrible thing... terrible. This is going great, keep up the awesome job!
| Mother Midnight 3/14/04 . chapter 5
Wow! This is really good! You definitely have me hooked. I happen to think that this ties in very well with the game. Good job! I do have one question though, who's Erol? For some reason or another I'm having trouble placing him. Probably because it's been so long since I've beaten the game. Um...that's ir. Update soon! Until next time...
Simpson-Girl -.- (sleep mode)
| stonespiderfaerie 3/13/04 . chapter 5
Muah! Erol is back and...yeah...
Okay. Don't make Jak get hurt any worse! I need you, Jak!
Jak: Uh-oh... *runs away*
Anyway, the TornAshelin part at the end was cool, and this is like the best fic on here.
| Vulion 3/5/04 . chapter 5
Great chapter, the battle between Jak and Erol was very well done, I especially liked the Torn and Ashlein bit at the end.
| Curiosity Inc 3/3/04 . chapter 5
Suddenly, I remember Praxis' last words: "The secret to making a bomb is to always make two." Well, you've made quite the copy of Jak. A living mass of Dark Eco, in the shell of the late Baron's trusted confidant. Very intriguing.
This last shift of power was really something. The pace is starting to pick up, the stakes are getting higher, I love it!
However, I do have one complaint. It's on a very small detail, but it's the small details that can kill you. In the carrier, just after Daxter asks what's going on, Torn tells what happened to Erol. Maybe it's just me, but I thought his innate knowledge of what Erol went through came a little suddenly. Couldn't you have made Torn just a touch more apprehensive? Make the point a little clearer that Torn was guessing? And he had to have been guessing, because I see no way that Torn could have KNOWN exactly what was going on.
A few typos and technicalities aside, I am very impressed. The plot is coming along beautifully, the romance sub-plots are starting to become believable, and everything is getting good. I can't wait for the next chapter.
| Cherie Duarte 3/3/04 . chapter 5
That was very good! I like the twist, can't wait to see what happens next!
| Prexistence 3/2/04 . chapter 5
yay new update, and i believe that was the best battle i have ever read on this entire site, seriously. i loved this chapter. please continue to update soon.
| Krimzon-Yakkow026 3/2/04 . chapter 5
Excellent chapter! I loved the way the fight was so vividly described, I felt like I was right there. And you even squeezed in some Ashelin Torn moments *smiles at the uber cuteness* Excellent! I love it! Keep it up, this is wonderful!
| Zane the Lazy Ass 2/28/04 . chapter 4
Do the world a favour and UPDATE! Geez! You're and awesome writer and I suggest you keep it up! Awesome Erol design and UPDATE!
| Vulion 2/27/04 . chapter 4
Damn, that was great! You did really well in explaining the thoughts, feelings and emotions of the characters. Let's just hope Jak gets back to the palace before Erol gets to Keira...
| Cherie Duarte 2/24/04 . chapter 4
Wa! Erol's gonna get them! No!
*sniffle* Good so far, keep it up!