I love your fanfic! It was hilarious, especially when they started to compliment each other's tactics during the stalemate. The best part was when it seemed like one of them was going to die, but Sasuke just gets up and decides he doesn't want to kill Naruto. Great fanfic!

Ho-ly **. I haven't been so cheered up by a piece of fiction for as long as I remember. Don't I WISH this could've happened. I love the introduction, I love the tension with Sasuke and Naruto, I love the soul-spill banter, I love Naruto's reaction when Sasuke can't do it, I love the stupid clone failure that only Naruto would use, I love the "Sasuke thing to do", I loved all of it. Great job. You've restored my faith in the Naruto-Sasuke friendship. I'm so not forgetting this.

You have a couple of lines I really like:

“It was also night, but there were no disputes or discussions about night. Any child knew what night did: it made everyone more dangerous.”

I like Naruto saying “make me understand.” That’s very apropos.

"Because telling you not to do things always works so well."

I like the idea of Sasuke having perfect recall.

"** this. I don't need another set of memories of a dead person."

"Put those creepy eyes away, Sasuke. They freak me out."

You also have several things I don’t like, starting, once again, with the use of “the man” instead of “Sasuke.” I understand what you’re trying to do, and I even like it – it’s very much something Sasuke would do, no “me” or “I” or “you,” just the man and the enemy. I even like the minute it breaks down, when he’s face to face with Naruto. However, for the narrative, saying “the man” still feels clunky and uncomfortable. Saying “Sasuke” just a coupla times and then referring to him as “the man” would possibly help that, and also have gotten you more attention straight-up, because fangirls and fanboys like to know immediately who a story’s about so they don’t “waste” time reading about not-their-favorite-character/pairing.

“Or was this man's work, too, this guessing game in the dark forest rain?” This is nitpicky as all hell, but I like ending it with “guessing game in the dark” better. Regardless, it’s a very good line.

I wish you’d kept the line "He had been told it would come to this, by some part of him that still believed that anything that is started must be finished."

The re-write’s a lot smoother than the original, and I like this more enough to put it back up under my favs.

This lovely fic deserves more reviews, so I shall review!

I enjoyed this fic, and I appreciate that you actually incorporated a fight scene.

This is actually the first time I've read this solution to the getting-Sasuke-back-from-evil problem. I don't think I've read another fic where Naruto and Sasuke decide to wander off together, so points for originality.

I hope there is a sequel. ^_^

Okay, here we go. Naturally, since I don't know the show, everything I say is bound to be a bit skewed...

"There was much dispute, among those more sedate than this man..." You sure that "sedate" is the adjective you wanna use there? It feels kinda off.

"And the rain itself made its own noise, and when the environment is already noisy, much is forgiven." Two "and"s.

"The man paused in a place slightly less wet than some others..." Sounds silly. Maybe take out the "some" and replace it with "most" or something.

"He had been told it would come to this, by some part of him that still believed that anything that is started must be finished." I like that.

"Until, that is, when after he'd turned away from a "puff," he then heard the body he'd kicked into a tree get up and slip away." Take out the "then."

"Because telling you not to do things always works so well." Like that too.

I liked this a lot. Some of Sasuke's narration at the beginning is a little awkward, but you're a dialogue specialist indeed, and Sasuke and Naruto's conversation is great. I've no idea how IC you are, but I quite like your Sasuke. Dammit, I don't have the money to start getting into another anime/manga series. ::Sigh::

You mentioned revision? I wouldn't do too much after they start talking. On my first read-through, my chest was all clenched up with not wanting either of them to die. Great tension. I like the understated relationship between the boys - ambiguous friendship, especially between kids so young, tends to work out a lot better than full-blown yaoi. Sorry I don't have more in the way of constructive criticism.

Wow. Hm. The writing style is unique. At first, I didn't really like it. But the thought patterns during battle and particularly the repetiton really grew on me. I really, really, really liked this fic! You should definitely write more. It was pretty In Character too. Nice job!
BTW, waff is a fanfiction term for fluff. You know, cute stuff, not terribly chock-ful of plot or anything, just something to make you go 'aw'.
*wink*

Well, you reviewed mine so I found and read and reviewed yours :) I'm speshal and stuff!
First thing's first: I liked this a lot. It doesn't matter that you haven't read the manga; you created a story that was based in sound fact from what you know and went from there. You did a damned good job, too.
Normally I critique grammar and such as well, but... I couldn't really find anything to say other than that you did a wonderful job :) I'm glad that I took the time to read this and I think you should definately write more SasuNaru in the future!