Very nice.

Oddly enough, I felt drawn in by the character of Ezekial. I don't think fanfic writers have enough "Arrogant **" in them.

I really don't have any critiques. I look forward to reading you other works.

Again, Bravo!

Well, I've finally had a chance to read your story and I must say, I'm impressed. I feel that the spirit of Kain is spot and the new characters are interesting. Fortunately, the story avoids the all-too-common flaw of angst and instead provides a more action-packed, unique view. The only problem I encountered was that sometimes the story flowed by too fast. I found it difficult pace with the story. Other than that, though, it was fantastic. I hope to see more of your work in the future.

Bah. Horrible computer problems kept me from doing this sooner.
Anyway, my basic take on it is that it's a pretty good, and definitely above-average, story. The storyline is solid and detailed, it manages to get philosophical in a way without being heavy-handed, and it keeps interest pretty well overall. Some of the description seems to fall a bit short of what the situation would call for (in my opinion, a huge, epic battle should be longer than a few paragraphs), but it still paints a good enough picture for it to not be a problem.
If I had to identify a problem, and this would only be because I've been spoiled by a certain FFT fanfic author who shall remain nameless for the sake of this not seeming like some sort of spam, it would be that the climactic action sequence seems somewhat skewed. It isn't described well enough to give it the epic feel I'm sure that it's supposed to have.
That's my ONLY gripe however, and considering that the story is five chapters long, that still says a lot.

Well, I'm back. And I'm a bit disappointed that it ended already, but since each chapter has a very good length, I can't complain ^__^ To save time and space I'll just place my comments for both chapter four and five in here.

First and foremost, Edge sleeps in the nude? Heh. For some reason I have no trouble believing that. I like the way you brought the original characters from the game into this story. And even though this centers more on Kain (yay!), you captured Cecil, Yang, Edge and the rest perfectly. Good job. I like Cecil in this story too. Something about that Paladin in this... Maybe it's the battle going on? Either way, Cecil rules. And I love the way you did Kain's mind battle--excellent. The whole thing with Eziekial and Pearl being angels seemed a bit rushed, though. Not that it wasn't believable; it just went a bit fast.

Now unto the last chapter... I love this whole epic battle! I especially love that you didn't kill any of the good guys off ^_^ Hm. Even though you did make Rosa sob throughout the whole battle... I would have liked to see her kick some butt with her bow. Well, at least Rydia kicked some! You did a brilliant job with the fight--plenty of good action and description. And I like that ending. So, do I smell a sequel? There goes my hope for a kooky side story with Eziekial and Kain. You could have called it "Eziekial and Kain's Zany Adventures". Er, or not...

On a side note, I don't know if you got my response to your email (aol's been a ** lately). Just send me your chapters in either html(htm) or txt format and I'll get them up on my site with my next update.
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It's over? I'm sad. It's over. Ah well, it was a good story I'll say, and as long as you have something to follow it up with then it's all good. I liked those last two tests, of the soul and mind, although I thought maybe the mind test could've used some more questions...but that's just me. I thinkt the soul test was right on, and it was great to see Kain struggle with all of those dark memories. The Keeper was one badass mofo, and I'm glad to see Kain made it out alright after getting the daylights knocked outta him there. All in all, I liked it...even if it was short. I'm patiently awaiting the next installment you have coming up, and I'll be looking for it.
-Spiff

Ah-ha! I predicted correctly. But not just one great fight scene, a good solid three! Well, if you count Cecil's retreating army ;)

Speaking of which, I like the way that was done; realistically and not rushed. The one thing I didn't like, however, was how Cecil retreated to the castle before all of his men. I thought he would at least wait to see his army safe before he went back inside. *shrugs* Whatever. A few sentences were a bit jumbled and sounded strange, but again nothing too bad.

Hmm. Four Eziekials in that one part... Not a bad thing, my friend. I'm sorry if I'm gushing on him too much, but he's just so damn cool. And the thing with the torches was brilliant. Good job. I like the grudging respect that Eziekial and Kain have for one another... And I like Eziekial (did I mention that before?).

Heh.
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A fascinating idea you've come up with here. This keeper sounds like the mother of all baddies and I'll definitely keep reading just to get to see that battle. Keep writing cuz it's only goin to get better.

Glad you updated. I've been itchin' to see what happens next.

Well, things are clearing up for me, though some still remain vaguely confusing. But I have no doubts that it will clear come the next chapter. I'm still catching a few grammar problems, but they are much less than before :) I love the feel of this story. I can't explain just what about this that makes me want to keep reading--I love where you are taking this (with the whole other dimension idea). And I like Eziekial. I have a thing for grumpy wizards, I suppose (along with the broody guys).

Even though your chapters are of a nice length (kudos to you), some things seem to jump around rather fast (the scene with Cecil and Kain, for example). You also could have added a bit more depth to Kain's feelings when in Baron, but that's entirely up to you. Some more description when they were inside the Tower of Cimntu would have been nice too. I'm guessing you didn't want to waste time, though :)

Hm. I smell a good fight scene coming up.
Grumpy wizards, their happy counterparts and broody Dragoons make for great reading!
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I'm always in for a Final Fantasy IV fic so you've got me hooked already. A bit confusing but I trust you'll sort all of this in the oncoming chapters. Kain's struggle against himself was well played and the end leaves me wondering just what he will do now, muha :P

I'm getting the strange, tugging feeling that I've read this before. Yes, I think I have. Well, whatever. I finally resumed my scouting mission of the Final Fantasy section for stories that actually BELONG here. Happily, I found this one ^_^ So let's begin:
It starts out nicely enough. You have to love that Kain opener (now who wouldn't?) and the battle within it. A few sentences were fragments, but nothing that particularly stood out. Though you do have an amount of grammatical problems. They are simply punctuation errors and a few missing words in sentences, but again, it's not so much as to take away from your story (well, perhaps it is to some people...). Just read over your chapter and catch those pesky mistakes. You can't always catch them all, but you will get a good deal of the errors. The basic story here is a bit confusing, though. I feel like a thousand ideas are being thrown in my face at once. I'm sure you will clear that up in future chapters.
This is a very interesting idea here and I would love to read more.
Happy Holidays!
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