Cab here, nice poem babe. I like the rhythm, it flows nicely but disjoints at the appropriate places that makes the reader sit up and listen.

The imagery is a little strong, I would have gone form more subtle metaphors, but that's personal taste. It shows a lot of emotion in a controlled structure (the syllable and rhythm pattern)

The adjectives you use are good but I think it was Oscar WIlde who said that one adjective is more than enogh. Don't labour the point if you don't have to. However as I don't know the subject of the poem, I can't fully comment on that.

The poem has a lot of emotion and power, you should write more.

It is Magus all the way. You have painted a perfect portrait of his falsehoods.

That is one of the best characterizations I've read of Magus. Very nicely done, albeit a little depressing. But then again, Magus' story is depressing.

Wow...this poem is the very essence of Magus. Bravo.

Well that pretty much sums Magus up. Well done.

Desert Lynx: I really appreciate your comment. Thank you.

Wow...this was really good.