I'm really liking this! I've been wading through HP stories all day and found a favorite. Please update soon, I am impatient.

PS - I adore ancient Egypt but never even thought of putting it in a fanfic...shows how clever I am, right? One question--What exactly is being done 'in the name of Set'? Because it's a bad idea to try and do something by invoking the god of chaos, in my opinion!

This is an interesting story. I'm a fan of Bill, as well of stuff based around myths, so this is cool. I like the way you set up Bill & Nailah - an entertaining way to get to know the characters. Also, the prologue was very mysterious & sparked my interest. Can't wait to see more :)

Sorry for the late review - I had a hard week.
This is a very interesting story. It's a lot more different than the usual HP fanfiction, and I'm glad I got it - I love mystery, and ancient Egypt has always interested me. Glad to see that you've made some research to make the story more authentical.
The prologue was a little confusing, but I suppose that that's what you've been aiming for. I'd really like to see whether one of these men is someone Bill trusts.
I can't wait to find out who Lee and Liz are.
Good job :-). Keep it up!

Interesting premise and a lovely place to set a story. I'm very interested in Egyptian history and it's nice to see that you've incorporated some of that into your tale.
The prologue sounds a bit forced, at least at the beginning. There are a few grammatical issues that I think were the result of being words spelled correctly and weren't caught by MS. After the first three or four paragraphs things began to settle down.
The conversation between Bill and his boss Nailia (Sp) was a fairly good. I like the character of Abdullah better, but that's probably because when he entered the tale things started to take off.
Typical of the Apple pusher not to remember stuff until he's given money. That's the way it is in Egypt too. I've heard that for tourists, nothing is priced. They actually want a person to haggle for it.
I am looking forward to reading more.
~webba

Hi,
This story is fabulous!
I liked the atmosphere of adventure and mystery, and at the same time the humour that you managed to render through the dialogues. The plot is original, and it's refreshing to read HP stories that aren't about Hogwarts.
I particularly enjoyed the scene with the cart keeper in chap.2. Very lively!
Bill deserves more good stories like this, and I hope you update yours soon!

A unique plot in the Harry Potter section! You don't see many of those. Loving the story. I love the details you have in this. You obvisouly know about Egypt and I like the charater interactions. Keep it up.

I love your writing style in the fic.
Not only does it keep me wanting to continue, but it allows the reader to feel more familiar with the characters.
Very original, not many stories about Bill :P

Hey there from the fic exchange!
You've started off on a great foot with this intriguing story. I really like the relationship you've set up between Bill and Nailah. Very flirtatious and witty. I'd be intrested in reading more when you update, so please keep me posted.

Alright, I'll tell you right off the bat, I am TOTALLY into this! You started it off with banter between characters that completely set up the entire nature of their relationship without shoving it in the reader's face, and you had me liking both of them right from the start. (Not that it takes that much effort to get me to like Bill...) You set up the situation, the location, and the nature of the way the company works in just a few short sentences, which I really admire.
And then, it was right into Indiana Jones mode!! I swear, I'm just waiting for Bill to show up with a battered fedora and a whip. I seriously can't wait to see where you're going with this -- I'll be sure and check for updates!
~PPerian

Well, I must admit that I was a bit confused by the very beginning of this chapter. That, of course, was before I realized that you weren't SUPPOSED to know who all these people are, and that this probably has nothing to do with Bill yet. I don't know what to say other than: I still love your writing style... I love the mystery behind this whole first section, and... on to chapter 1!
~PPerian