whoa...that sounds so cool!

ooh. that was very interesting. i really like the way everything was 'felt' or 'known'. very interesting indeed. are you going to write a sequel, or something? i should like that very much.
EE

You're off to a good start! Keep writing!

I like this a lot...good job, keep up the great writing! I don't know how to say this but maybe you could make it a little...deeper? IDK...anyway, nice story!