Hi,
I like your story idea, of the Jedi knowing about the Sith, even while Qui and Obi are still a pair.
The point of view you've created isn't consistent, though. After you leave the room, you continue telling Qui/Obi/Yoda's conversation, which you would not be privvy to knowing unless you were still in the room--which you weren't.
But it still is a good storyline, and I'm curious to see where you'll take it!

Um...I like! But I'm confused too...did the speaker change? I thought it did, at the funky line thingy, but I didn't really get who was talking the first time. I thought it was Obi at first, but was it Nayeli? I think? Maybe I'm just too tired to be thinking straight right now...