Very well done! I didn't like MP2's ending very much either. They didn't capture a deep enough grief in Max's feelings, or allow sufficient time for Mona's death to really sink in for the gamer. I actually like your ending better. It's a little more...well, like a genuine, heartbreaking love story, and it goes a lot deeper than the game did. Keep up the good work!

I think you would do a really good romance story on the book the godfather or you could base it on what you know from the movie. There are no godfather fanfics ANYWHERE! Its suprising to me that nobody has bothered to write about it. I bet alot of people would read it if you posted it on this sight. I hope you will take it into consideration.
-anonymus-

there is an alternative ending, and its a happy ending ;-) try it.

I got that ending too, you just have to beat the game on Dead-On-Arrival mode to get it. It's supposed to be the canon ending as well, I believe.
As for this, I think that it captures the essence of the other ending well. While the writing is a bit lacking in some areas (Max should be spouting off metaphors like crazy here) it feels very appropriate to the scene, and it's so very touching as well.

In case you guys didn't know it, there's another ending to the game.
But I'm not going to tell you, because that would be spoiling. Just trust me guys, okay?
I just played the game and got that other ending. I have NO idea how that happened...maybe you have to finish all the mods, or a certain one?
Hope others will read this and try to see the other ending. I certainly liked it.

Ah yes. There's nothing better than a little angst to get you goin in the morning! This was very well written, and I really enjoyed the read :)
two thumbs up :)

Its a good one. Idea.

*Wipes tear away from eyes* Beautiful! This felt more like a love story! :)

Wow, that was sad...I am the same way (in love with romance between two assasins) Phew! That was great though! But depressing...don't forget depressing...lol ^-^

Sounds good so far, hope this will continue on and fix one of the mistakes in the game. ;)