this is a good story although... dont take this the wrong way but...i noticed that u said Quatre has carrying twins when he finally told trowa and later u said he didnt know i just thought i would tell u... but i was a really good story i love how u mixed the hair and eye colors on all 4 kids soo cute!
~megan

i love this its soo funny!
~megan

I really like the story. but why did you say that noone knew quatre was having twins when he said he was in chapter 3?

I just wanted to tell you that i liked your fic, and that the spelling doesnt really matter. as long as we know what you meant... it shouldnt matter how it is spelled. i hope to read more from you.

loved it o and ur welcome 4 the names it was a wonderful story

hi can't wait 4 ur next update love it soo much keep it up

sounds like you got a little mad at some people who reviewed. anyways. i like the story. it was different in a good way

Spelling, grammar, punctuation, capitalization, form and structure are all important elements to writing. They are just as important, if not more, than the plot and/or characterizations. Readers, ones with at least half a brain, will abandon your story if they have to spend time deciphering your words.

There is no excuse for not proofreading your work at least twice before posting it. You say you do not have a spell-checker. Okay, but did you think to go online and look for one there? Open your browser, go to Google and type the words spell check into the search bar. The first link to show is a wonderful place called - use it!

Now, here are some specifics about your story:

Proper names are capitalized at all times; first AND last names, without exception.

'heero' - Heero.
'duo' - Duo.
'quatre' - Quatre.
'Sally po' - Sally Po.

When writing speech, each speaker should be on a separate line. Cramming more than one speaker into a line or paragraph is incorrect and difficult to read.

Learn the difference between their, there and they're. More than once you've used the wrong form.

Spelling a character's name incorrectly - in the title of a chapter no less - is inexcusable. This is a prime example why you should a) proofread your work before posting and b) use a spell-checker.

Author notes within the body of the story are tacky, unnecessary and distracting. If you, the author, absolutely must say something, use a footnote (look it up if you don't know what it is).

' "Uh duo I have some interesting news." Sally po said. " What kind of news." Duo asked a little scared.

This example, drawn right from chapter 1, is riddled with errors.
1) Duo's speech should be on a new line.
2) After 'Uh' a comma is needed.
3) 'duo' is a proper name and requires capitalization.
4) '...news." ' Wrong punctuation used - the period should be a comma.
5) 'po' is a proper name and requires capitalization.
6) ' " What...' There should be no space between the opening quotation mark and the start of the word.
7) '...of news." Duo asked...' If Duo 'asked' then there should be a question mark, not a period, at the end of news.

If this is a good example of your work, do the fan fiction world a huge favor and stop posting. If you cannot, or will not, take the time to ensure your work is as error free as possible then no fandom needs your contribution.

Your author note at the beginning of chapter four is stupid and childish. This may be YOUR fic, but YOU have chosen to post it in a PUBLIC archive. As soon as you did that, you opened yourself up to reviews - good AND bad. If you cannot handle bad reviews in a mature manner, then there's another reason to stop posting.

Firstly, I did not mean to insult you. If you found you were insulted by comments, I apologize. Frankly, I wanted to read your story because your summary interested me. I reviewed because reviewing is meant to give constructive criticism, NOT kiss each other's asses.

My comments may have come off as rude or insulting, but in the long run, your story did need corrections. If you can't spell very well, then have a friend peer-edit. I know many other people on this website have spelling and grammatical errors, but if they were few and far between, I wouldn't mind it. MissMoo and I, though we didn't enjoy the errors, were still willing to give your story a chance. If you were truly interested in constructive criticism, you would have taken what we said to heart, instead of telling us to back off and whimpering about how mean we are.

Not all reviews are nice. I've gotten my share but I've learned from what they've said and from my own observations. Understand that not everyone will like your style and not everyone is going to kiss your ** and say your story is "SO CUTE" and that they want more chapters. I don't mean to insult you, I mean to help you so that you can try to become a better writer. Whether you decide to even bother checking your mistakes in one way or another is up to you, not me.

Best of luck to you in the future.

-Karasuko

I LOVE IT! It's so sweet you so have to keep going I absolutley love it

Oh, where to begin?

1) Grammar, spelling, punctuation...all terrible. You definitely need to look back at what you wrote and fix it. And I mean EVERYTHING. Even your disclaimer is hard to stomach. If you read it out loud, that will help you with where you need to place periods or commas, or even the occasional semi-colon. If you're not sure how to spell something, spell check does wonders. That's why it comes installed in most software. And grammar...well, it's just common sense.

2) Plot holes and choppy sentences by the barrelful...you add your own little notes in the middle of sentences, you skip from random point to random point, even with your "OOC" label, you still used the characters wrongly, and suddenly Duo went from having just one baby to two. There's a whole lot more but I'll try to let you find some on your own. Don't be afraid to span things out. Some things require a lot of detail, just to guide a story in. Don't just breeze through it so you can post something.

-

This story has a lot of potential, if you fix all the mistakes in it. I was drawn in by your summary, but was completely blown away by your story (and not in a good way). An important thing is to learn from your mistakes and know that if someone gives you a bad review, they might be trying to tell you something.

Um...yea.
While muddeling through the complete disregard for any sort of english you've taken ,I was able to make it through the story...or at least the first chapter.

And trust me. That .Was.Painful.

I mean really. At least put forth the effort to put caps on the names...Really. And try not to use "uh" more then a few times...I counted at least six. Apparently all intelligent life left in this fic to go somewhere it would be used.
Ah, and lets not forget the amount of ruch was put into this. Who are these people and what have they done with the real GW characters. My god these characters are so OOC with out explination its not even funny.
There is no ground biases to this work. None. Its like this...

" What do you know? Duo is pregnant! And with Heero's child! **gasp** And lets not tell anyone until he's six months along 'cause theres no way in hell they're going to notice!"

Yea.This was kinda bad. But it could be salvaged and fixed up...take to down and rewrite.Fix it. Common' i'm sure you've had some sort for schooling...use it!Because as this is right now it doesnt really count as a story...more likesome ideas someone quickly wrote down and accidently posted.

~MissMoo

A ha... I don't get it.

o hey i was thinking that twins would be nice i'll give u some nice names, k? grils: sakura, aya, ayume, yume, tsuki, and amara. boys: aki, toya, yuhi, and tsume. that's all i could think about some of the names r some off of different anime if u don't mind but i like them. good luck and hope you update soon

okay, i think this story has alot of potential, but you need to flesh it out. alot.
the story is too rushed, and lacks severely in details that make a story good. plus-spell and grammar check are good things to have.