Pharoahess, this is a very good story. I see from the stats on the top of the page that you have not updated in well over a year...perhaps this review will prod you to update once again...*pulls out Sting* "How about now? Gonna update now?" Pharoahess, shakes her head no and replies tremulously, "I'm far to busy with other things," A grimace from me..."Very well then," *pokes with Sting* "Ow!"...See and you thought Frodo's torture was bad...LOL! Anyway, it's a great story. Poor Frodo. Can't wait to see where this goes. Please update soon! Rock on!
-RadcliffePotter

Can you PLEASE update? (ps: also I am NOT the anon. Skandragon, I am Skandragon Blackheart, Skan for short

O MY GOD!! I just found out that chapter 15 was last updated in 2005! ITS 2007!
I'm begining to belive you realy are dead,my sympithies.Realy,when is the next chapter coming up, about 2 years is a bit extreem.At least start sequeal!
(I went over board with the ! marks)

I think i spaek for a lot of reviewer's out there when i say...FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST UPDATE!

(And yes to all those who are wondering I AM just going to keep reviewing ti'll i see chapter 16! thank you very mutch!)

PLEASE UPDATE! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS DECENT IN THE WOLD, PLEASE!

(On knees begging)If you update...i'll stop bugging you.Fare?

Update...or,I'LL RIP OUT YOU'R HEART AND FEED IT TO A NAZGUL!...Ahem,just kidding about the hole heart thing.But,searesly,UPDATE SOON,(Starts wimpering)...please...pretty please.

It's been since Easter when you last updated.ARE YOU DEAD OR WHAT?!Please update quickly...please.

FOR THE LOVE OF ERU PLESE PLESE PLESE WRITE MORE I AM BEGGING YOU!

Oh GOD! Man, if Frodo gives in in the end, they're all screwed. And Middle Earth will go to hell in a handbasket! Oh bab bad bad! I love this story.

Please continue with this wonderful story of brilliance!

*still fighting Melkor...and losing.* Get out, Frodo! Save yourself! *frodo shrugs and runs away. I look at him in suprise* Hey, Frodo! I was just being dramatic! I didn't mean literally run off! *looks at author* Please, please update soon! *continues to fight poorly against Melkor*

was great loved it .. even if it did take a year lol hope had began to leave me but i am glad u updated. One thing though lego called Faramir Captain when in actual fact he became the steward under aragorn.

8bursts into cell where Frodo is held* Frodo! *hugs Frodo* Where is that worm of a demon. Melkor! I have come for thy head! *looks at author* Update soon, please. *carries Frodo out of cell and hides him in a dark corner. Then attacks Melkor* Bring it on!

I actually found this chapter kind of hard to mock. I'm not sure if it was truly different from other chapters had been or if it was just a subtle change in atmosphere but there was without a doubt something fresher. The style was more archaic, a folklore feel of both formality and smoothness (together creating a very strong impression - I think of Tolkien as writing in the same way). The only mocking I can think to do today is list seckshual euphamisms :P after which I'll give you some proper com/crit if you don't mind.

>

Lines that sounded lololololol:

"...Sam watched Faramir settle next to Eowyn..."
Sophia: omg pROn coming up soon.

"Frodo has said that to him...Sam let his mind drift back to it. The heat."

"“You have let your guard down, Master Gamgee,” said a familiar voice from the shadows. Sam sprung up; sword raised..."

"“Together we can reach Aragorn in a few days, if we are prepared to keep going and rest little.”"

"Legolas had the distinctive air of someone who had done this before."

"Aragorn nodded. “Send them in. and see that no one disturbs us..."

>

Oh, stop looking at me like that. Anyway, back to business. No, not like that! *ahem*

I really liked this chapter more than others in some ways, and not so much in others, which is why I feel I have to pick through it more seriously than usual. The writing style was better than any chapter before it. It was tight, it was engaging, it was not filled with flipperies and excess angst - it had exactly the RIGHT amount of angst. You blended flashback and present time well. It moved very quickly but unlike previous chapters the fairy-tale atmosphere allowed for this without it seeming awkward.

It also suddenly hit me that I like Eowyn being with them since she is with Farimir. It annoys me in fafic when Eowyn travels/fights/lives with the company/menfolk/etc because that sort of thing just didn't happen in Tolkien's time - let alone way back in rustic Middle Earth! Even a society that made some allowances for their women (Rohan seems to do this) would not allow a young maiden (especially an outgoing one of some beauty) to travel with other men of dubious integrity - UNLESS she was with her husband. And it suddenly hit me that it works when Eowyn is with with Farimir. Thumbs up for not falling for that trap.

But there were still a couple of bits that niggled:

The horses, for example. There's a passage in D.Wynne-Jones' The Tough Guide that says that in fantasyland, horses are basically treated as bicyles. And it's true. It's so true it's nearly accepted as fact in fantasy writing, and even Tolkian is guilty of it, but it shows ignorance and lack of effort (I don't mean in you personally - I mean in fantasy writing in general). I'm not suggesting you describe every buck or stone that mars their ride on those horses, but some detail to show that they're living creatues with weaknesses and pesonalities just adds another facet, even to a folklore style chapter like this one. They were riding hard for several days, remember, and you kind of push that under the rug with "The horses were somewhat amazing – they ran fast and tired little" so that we don't even notice those days passing. If it was me I'd probably put in that they rode the horses too fast and one of them actually lay down and died when they stopped for the night. But that's me. Maybe that's my latent urge to have two guys sitting on a horse together *eyebrow wiggle*. Too much Brokeback Mountain.

The next thing that made me laugh was "With us are SOME Periannath". Is that like saying "we have SOME fruit" or "Iz has SOME rats in her walls"? Legolas is almost saying "we have some important people - oh, and some hobbits, but never mind about them". Try "three Periannath" instead, unless there's a good reason you put "some" that I didn't pick up on.

Ah, the last bit. Aragorn - he broke down? He WHAT? He's the king. He's over a hundred years old. He's dealt with...well, maybe not WORSE situations, but certainly situations that are just as bad or just as hopeless. He's been through the whole "end of the world" thing before. How can he suddenly be so overcome with despair/grief that he needs Gandalf to step in for him? If you wanted him to bow out of the conversation to give Gandalf some screentime, couldn't he have gone outside to talk to Sam or something? But "seeing as the king was in no state to [take charge]"? Maybe there's a good explanation for this bit in the chapter, but people in roles of leadership just cannot stay in such positions of power unless they never, ever, break down over the second-hand news that some old travelling companion might or might not have doomed the world.

Sorry, I had to be tough today. This chapter truly was really good and really enjoyable - you'll notice all the nitpicks were to do with content and characterisation, and that is so much easier to fix than writing or technique - and it's NOT personal, I swear.
I can't wait for exciting things to happen next, even though I know what's coming. You better have my picture with you when you write.

Cheers,
Tawa