Aw. D: That was so sad. :'(

*looks at you, slack jawed*

wtf, you just got me cold, man.

this is TERRIBLE!

in a fantastic way. but still.

This is well done.

omg...that...really affected me.

I really wasn't expecting that at all...very well done.

The last few lines hurt me... in my HEART! (sobs)

*sniff*

I felt my heart (or at least my OTP) break a little during that particular chapter, but I was reassured shortly afterwards. Honestly, reading manga is bad for my nerves...

But more on-topic, this was wonderfully done, being both a well-thought-out AU and quite possible, canon events ignored-people (myself included!) seem to forget that ninja would probably have a *very* short expected life span.

The ending was perfect, and the format particularly well-suited for the idea itself. Telling it from Chouji's point of view (despite the fact that he's dead) gives a much clearer frame of reference, without the tangle of guilt, loss and more guilt Shikamaru is doubtless feeling. You do a good job of portraying that as well, actually, which is nice.

CHOUJIS DEAD! but but but..Chouji didnt die from the pill if thats what yer suggesting in here! he didnt! wah! this makes me so sad! to event think hes dead! *sobs*

...O.o Good grief, it's a testament to you that that ficlet flowed so naturally and beautifully that the end twist threw me completely!

Such a good ficlet, and scary because it's all too plausible ;_;

You have a way for writing as if everything seems so natural...the characters, their dialoges. I just love this.

Postscript:

...realize that this sounds heartbreakingly familiar. Because what happened the first mission Kakashi led?

Wow.

...

*makes odd noise*

...

Dammit. I want to cry.

...

Brilliant writing. You wrote it when it was still actually a possible outcome, didn't you? Wow.

I loved this.

So during my free time I'm looking through your fics and all the ShikaChouji ones since I'm now a huge fan of them. Damn, this one hurt my heart to read, because that's exactly what would happen if Chouji died.

Nothing short of brilliant.

Short and brilliant. -goes to see if you have other one-shots like this one-

;_; i was so not expecting that...why oh why did Chouji-kun have to die V_V *hugs the story as she sniffles pathetically*

VDG