Wow, that was, like, the first wierdest, in a good way, pharaoh-thinking-from-inside-puzzle fic I've ever read. Nice writing skills, btw.

Oh wow. Very nice I like it.

This is really good. Are you going to add any more to it? Maybe make it a Bakura/Ryou? Sorry. They are my favorite characters and I love the couple, as overdone as it may be.

I knew it. From your reviews you come off as a very intelligent person, and this was a very good manifestation of it. I loved it very much. The way you portrayed Bakura in the fic is amazing because it really hits at the heart of his personality and almost seems to magnify his reasons for hating Yami that were never expressed on the show.
Beautifully written.

Hi. Thanks for reviewing my story. I just thought you'd like to know that I didn't change their names, I just gave them each an alies. *Nods and sweatdropps* I was a little shocked that someone said that I changed their names. I'm sorry if I gave any confusion. And yes, Ryou with green tips is kawaii.

~*~

That's so cool...

Are you ging to do one from Yamis point of view?

An intrigueing and engaging read. I love the way you described Bakura's thoughts and feelings during his imprisonment, especially about the darkness and the passing of time, as well as the way how he can't remember the face of the Pharaoh (as well as, I assume, other things of his life before).

Utterly Bakura.

Hello,
How are you? I’m in tears, thanks a LOT for the review. I’m taking the story “Chained in the Dark’ off, does that make you happy? You know, if you had READ THE DAMN A/N you would have noticed that the story is confusing in the first chapter. Btw I read your story, it’s nice. Too bad we all can’t be as good as you, right? For all I care I think you can stop reviewing other’s stories and just review your own it has 9 now 10 reviews? I think that you can use a few more. Again thank you so very much for the ‘constructive review’. I think I’ll never write again, but that’s just what you wanted, huh?
Sincerely,
Promise

Wow! Very powerful opening. I very much like the 3rd paragraph. Great description and the sentence was great. It is just that it is very long.
The paragraph after that was very good as well. At least, until, ‘the thoughts of lust.’ This may be true and adds more to the story, but was not written as well as it could have been. (I know you’re thinking, who is she to talk? But I assure you, I have gotten much better in my time of absence from fanfiction.net. Just not anything I’m am proud enough of to post, though I am currently working on something I am very proud of. I just have writer’s block.) Actually, the lust part was very good until ‘involving every tool need necessary for kinky, bondage type lovemaking.’
Speaking of that sentence fragment, you probably shouldn’t have included ‘need.’
4th paragraph: ‘His thoughts were dark like his surroundings,’ Given your usual eloquent prose, you could have done better than this. Also, according to my dictionary, ‘povertic’ is not a word.
As for your fifth paragraph, I do not understand ‘recent, or non-recent, fantasies.’ Is this implying that the Shadow Realm (I assume that is what you are talking about?) is timeless. Or that Bakura has just lost all track of time? *sniffles* I feel stupid. Anyhow, I very much like the line ‘the blasted, soulless creature that had locked him into this fate.’ It is very descriptive and nice. ‘The Egypt-famous tomb robber.’ Hmm . . . this just seems very halted and disjointed. It’s not very fluid.
As for the Arabic? insult. It is not much use unless you know what it means, though it does add a certain element to the story.
He could not remember what the Pharaoh looked like? Um . . . this paragraph seems somewhat random & does not have a transition.
And forgetting what oneself looks like? He is in the shadow realm, and he can see, I assume. He cannot see his face, but he can see almost every aspect of his body. This is a very good paragraph, though. I liked it.
9th paragraph: You are missing a comma in this paragraph (*sighs* I am such a nitpicker . . .) ‘Only in the absence of light, was it realized how much he had needed it to carry on,’ not ‘Only in the absence of light was it realized how much he had needed it to carry on.’ Also, ellipses normally have spaces between the three dots. Lastly, you are missing two more commas. ‘As a tomb robber he had known that when Ra's sun disappeared behind the horizon of the desert it was his chance to strike, but when its orangey tang began to stain the beautiful black skies it was his time to retreat back into the darkness of his hideout to wait another night,’ is what you wrote. You should have written, ‘As a tomb robber, he had known that when Ra's sun disappeared behind the horizon of the desert, it was his chance to strike, but when its orangey tang began to stain the beautiful black skies, it was his time to retreat back into the darkness of his hideout to wait another night.’ (Don’t worry, I’m just a nitpicker, and I have only come across these three errors this far into the story.) Also, I am not sure about the ‘orangey tang.’ Is orangey a word? Is tang in proper usage?
Another Arabic phrase. Same comment as last time.
This paragraph is very good. I have no critiques. (PoM: FINALLY!)
If the light made him ‘embrace his flaws,’ wouldn’t that mean he accepted them? Do you mean ‘realize his flaws’? I do not understand why he afraid of light, exactly.
In this paragraph, I don’t believe you should have included ‘physical or psychological.’ I believe the sentence would have been better without it. Good paragraph, though!
14th paragraph: No critiques. (Sultry: Good word!)
Arabic phrase. See above.
Great way to start this paragraph! Makes no need of a transition. ‘and in darkness, your only pastime staring at the swirls of different shades of darkness that drifted around your consciousness from time to time.’ Is what you said. You probably should’ve said, ‘and, in darkness, your only pastime isstaring at the swirls of different shades of darkness that drifted around your consciousness from time to time.’ It’s a good sentence!
I believe you used ‘mind’ and ‘mind’ to closely together. I’m a stickler for that, sorry.
Why did he decide against it? And what does someone putting on the ring have to do with what you just said?
‘But his eyes only seeing darkness.’ Good line! I like!
Not remembering what colors were? Than how were his thoughts? You have to have some white? Or does he just not remember what color is white, but he can see it in his mind.
Arabic.
This paragraph is all right. Not remarkable, but not bad. Good idea though.
Last three paragraphs: Very nice about Anubis. What is the stinging sensation? Pain? Very good ending though!
I think you should put dashes between ‘Yu-Gi-Oh.’
I like your story very much. Your prose is very elegant and you don’t seem to use the same adjective twice. I am not a Yami/Bakura supporter, though, but I will still read the rest because your writing is SENSATIONAL! It’s very, very good. It’s wonderful. It’s amazing. It’s incredible. Magnificent! Very, very superb. FOUR STARS! Also, I hope you now don’t hate me because I offered constructive criticism. On your bio, it says you like that, so I hope you’re not angry. Many thanks for your review of my story. After reading yours, I can see why you think my sentences are a bit simple, and I will make them more complex in the next chapter.
Over and out,
Jealous Vamp
kdcrawford2@comcast.net

ooh! this chapter helps a lot! i agree completely, the arabic adds extra flair to the fic, and i personally like it a lot. but it is true, many people don't understand or speak arabic...i'd like to learn! i wanna learn practically every language...^_^ i want another chapter!! your first one was reallie good...i can't wait to see what happens!

Hi. I just wanted to review once again because I feel I didn't review adequately before. But at the time, I was so boggled by your obvious talent that all I could think was, "Wow! Very good!" (When really it should have been, "Wow! Very, VERY good!" ^_~)
~
And, you know, I thought the Arabic insults added to the story, so there =p You rule.

wow...i reallie liked this...the descriptions and ideas were reallie good! i liked the little details you put, like not bakura not knowing his own name, only knowing that he was a raider, and how at first he thought he was afraid of darkness, but reallie he was afraid of light, etc. the part where he said he could've smacked himself for not paying attention was funny! i was wondering, what do the italicized phrases mean? are they egyptian? i don't think they're japanese...no japanese i know is like that. But then again, i don't know much. Anyway, update soon! i'll be looking forward to it! ^_^

*jumps to her feet and gives a standing ovation* uwaa~!! kakkoi! especially with the ancient egyptian points here and there, that was WONDERFUL! ((and to think, Hayashibe-chan figured these types of fics were boring and never written well...and now she knows how wrong she was!)) that was perfect-o~ author-sama! *gives you a cookie* sahnk-yuu for the entertainment!

*waves* Oi, me again ^^;
Anyway, I really liked the discription you used in the beginning. I don't mind if there were to conversations and only thoughts. I also like the thoughts and slight confusion of the thoughts ^^;