funny...

one suggestion: start a new paragraph every time the speaker changes. It was getting really confusing, following their speech.

Also try to put more physical, sequential, and emotional detail into it. Now that I've said that, you still don't wanna over do it...

is this going to be updated?

I liked this a lot, but it could be better if you fleshed it out abit more. Then it would be great.

Love,

Mokona

*sniffs* So cute! I watched PotC the other day and noticed that there were definite possibilities of slash in there... and then had to leave. And then remembered this morning! *cheers*

It's so very sweet and delicate ... One of my favorites.

I love slash of this kind only. Can't stand smut.

I loved it...could have been more graphic though, if ya know what i mean *wink wink*...lol

could someone tell me what SLASH is? i am SO freakin confused.
about the story... i'd have to read more to comment on it, but i think it's really original. i haven't read too many other fics like this. i'm not sure if i like the thing with will jack though...
well anyway, PLEASE inform me about what SLASH is...
paul frank is your friend

Great story mate! You should really continue, but be careful on the Will and Jack, you dont want things getting overboard savvy?

hey great story and plot and everything but Elizabeth seemed sorta...bitchy