Dear god. This the first ever alien fanfic ever. This NEEDS to be updated.

Not bad. Whats this new creature then? I've read chap 2. Will it be a slight crossover (for the creature) or is it of original design.

Well George 'kill them. kill them all.' seems more like a nod towards starship troopers to me. both marines fighting alien bug-type creatures.

More desription on the marines would be nice. Probably best to add a little chapter at the start about the marines, so people can get to know them and feel bad if they die. Add like backgrounds, past conflicts, and behaviour between the squad members (sarcastic comments from one to another in the group, or like a fatherly/brotherly figure by a squad member to the others). Otherwise readers won't care when they get killed. Which wont help your story much.

You need to humanise your good characters, evil characters like the xenos are already well known enough by people, so you dont need to do character development with them. But for the humans, you really need to.

very nice story it was a bad day indead. do you like horror movies if so i recomend i forget the name but it has this girl who drowns in a well and kills people in seven days threw a tape if they see the tape.

okay...dude...this story wasn't that good...the curse words were jkust thrown in there randomly...and everything was so fucked up...word spelling, and all of that shit, and...just...nothing to it, and Punk ass gay faggot One Liners...and Dude, if you write storys, learn to Role Play on Yahoo...or something...but also the lines where also short, and nothing really happenned...but, the Curse words...damn...they messed up the whole thing...you just, used too mnay, and you also gotta learn about the Marines, and get some grammer tested or something dude, but, the story has like, nothing to do with the title and has a Stupid gay ass Ending...with the Worst Ending line i've ever heard...

No! MY ALIUM IS BEST! DOWN W/ PREDATOR!

I'm having trouble figuring out who the protagonist of the story is. The Aliens seemed like the protagonists when the predators attacked, but then an Alien attacked the marines. Also, since when do Xenomorphs have distinguishable eyes? (not counting the newborn from "Ressurection")

Pretty enjoyable, I will read the next 'episode'

oooh good work!

Prety good but you should of had more of this strange new creature

It moved a little to fast. The plot was okay, but, like I said, it moved way to fast. If the author had lengthened the sets a little, it might've been a little better.

A good story to begin with but I think you need to expand your vocabulary a bit...a little more description would be nice...though over all quite good

Nice. I liked the little Star Wars episode 1 line: "Kill them. Kill them all." Overall, a well-written story. I haven't gotten to part 2, but the dangler at the end was also pretty good. Gramatically correct, which is a serious bonus for me. I hate having to edit the story, because it makes it harder to fall into it with my editor working overtime.

Haha. Pretty cool. Excessive on the cussing though...