|Reviews for Quests Within|
| drake220 4/9/04 . chapter 4
hey. its me! of course i reviewed after seeing that glorious review you left for the runt of my litter of stories! now, about your fic. ok- the problem is that its an OC. the writing style is wonderful, the language is great, the imagery captivates but the story revolves around an original character. adn most people do not read original character fics. other then that i honestly cannot think of a single reason people dont read the fic. perhaps if you changed the story a bit adn put more emphasis on the main characters from takahashi then you'd get more people to read.
but if you want to be sneaky, you could try to just be ambiguous with your summary. y'know the type: "a mysterious stranger shows up at sesshomaru's castle. she comes seeking oblivion from memories she cant avoid. not who you think." adding in sess's name will automatically get people to read the story b/c sess is sess. the bit about 'not who you think it is' is to trick people into imagining which of the female characters it is. they get intrigiued adn then read the fic. will they review? don't know. but its worth a shot.
heres another idea: write a different story; different in plot line totally. then see how many reviews you get.
you write well! and if you like this story, then keep going anyhow! you are the writer adn you are all that matter in the end.
| LilacRose23 2/23/04 . chapter 2
*grins* Very very interesting story so far! I really like it. You have a great presentation and the story flows well with enough description to keep the reader visualizing how things seem. Excellent job and I can't wait to read more :)
| Emania 2/22/04 . chapter 2
This is Emania, the Em half of the Em_n_Lilac pair writing For All We Know. You asked and here I am! *grins* I love it when my schedule behaves and lets me read fanfiction! *winks* In any case, on to your story!
This is a very intriguing plot line and your writing definitely has a very good flair! There are some minor grammatical points you should probably work on. The main ones I have in my mind are first, that throughout most of the first chapter, you didn't distinguish between thoughts in your paragraphs. Let me explain that better: Grammatically speaking *Puck, her muse in case you hadn't met him, bows and motions to Em* "She was an English Major in undergrad, and you've asked her for her opinion, so she will now commence to do the job of an editor for your work, please do not take it to any offense." Grammatically speaking, you should have a seperate paragraph for each person's thoughts or words. So, when Inuyasha is speaking and thinking, he has one paragraph and Kagome's response would be in another paragraph. I didn't notice you do it in this chapter, but you did in the first chapter, and I just wanted to point it out.
The second thing I would suggest, is that although I am very intrigued with the story, you haven't given us enough about Meaganu. Because you are writing into a storyline that has already been established, and adding a new character that no one knows, people will be less likely to continue to read unless you give us enough about her to make us really want to know what's going on. You know what I mean? Almost like you have given us enough about the storyline and left us on a cliffie or something that we can't find out what's happening without acceptiing this character. It's not that the character is lacking, she seems very intricate and very interesting, but you don't give us enough about her and really very little about the characters we would come to such a story to read about.
My suggestion would be to maybe start the story with what is going on with Inu & Co, in other words, why they are going to see Sesshy and then bring in Meaganu. See? Lure the audience in with the characters they know and then give them this other character, with enough about her to make her interesting so that the reader wants to find out more.
Okay, so there you go. My unadulterated opinion. Which, considering you haven't read my stuff maybe means nothing to you! *giggles* But anyway, there it is.
Oh, and also, apparently you have your account set up to not accept anonymous reviews. This will prevent you from receiving as many reviews as you would most likely get otherwise, but sets you up that way automatically when you open an account with them. You should probably change that so you could get more reviews! _.
Have fun! And I hope this review was helpful!
| DazzeledRazz 2/20/04 . chapter 1
Wow. I think you've gotton off to a great start with this story. I think your new character, Meaganu, will be interesting to watch grow. I think that next time, maybe you should think about writing a longer chapter. We readers need to be sated! Keep writing... I look forward to the chapters to come.