   valley-girl2
2004-09-02 . chapter 15Here I am. Thank you for waiting. My multiple techology troubles are on the way out now, with the exception of my printer not working. Oh well. Who cares about that at a time like this, anyway. I can't wait to start this, so I'm not going to wait any longer.
Except for another exclimation, to follow this paragraph. I'm not used to keeping reviews pent-up for so long!
Hee, epilogue time. :-D I'm so happy! Here we go.
"I apologize for the hugeness of this epilogue" -> to that, I say, you're crazy... lol. It was one giant present!
"It might have seemed redundant." -> ha. it'd be redundant, if women didn't love hearing an honest declaration like that any time someone feels like giving it. :-D
"After having finally found each other over a year ago, it still took all their self control to keep their hands off each other at times; trite traditions and silly superstitions had about
as much a chance of breaking them apart as a snowman had staying frozen in the fires of hell." -> lol. I just loved that sentence. haha. I'm still laughing.
"There was a part of him that felt the weight of Ilya curled up against his chest, yawning, his pint-sized suit and jacket wrinkled at this point, but still on, the clip-on bowtie lying
somewhere on the dance floor; and he knew that little Gabriel was snuggled in Sydney's arms, adorable as always and fast asleep." -> I'm chuckling like a loon right now, at the
picture of clip-on bowties. they're hilarious. yet, on children, they're CUTE.
"And he did. The two of them may have broken plenty of rules in their lifetimes, but he would never go against an order like that one. Why would he want to?" ->
hahahahahahahahahahaha.
"Sheer common sense dictated that this kiss should be quick and simple, stood as straight and decorated as a military general, side by side with reason and duty. He and Sydney
might just have obeyed this directive, too, if emotion hadn't chosen that imperative split second to clang by in a flurry of bells and whistles, snapping ever-hyper passion loose
from its chains and stripping common sense and its compatriots of their clothing, along with their pride, sending them screaming away in the shame of defeat." -> WOW, might I
just say, that paragraph completely ROCKS. I love it! what description! "clang by in a flurry of bells and whistles, snapping ever-hyper passion loose... sending them screaming
away in the shame of defeat." WOW, once again. :-O
"Three and a half weeks had been more than enough time to perfect all the motions that a quick kiss with full arms required, and it didn't take much to turn quick into lingering
and longing, merely the ability to hold on." -> see, thank you. People think you have to go crazy with the planning, so that it takes months upon months. You don't HAVE to.
""Hey!" Weiss shouted, turning his attention from the couple before him to the few people still sitting at his own table, the two who had started the clamoring echo of glass. "I
thought you guys were on my side… Francie? Will?"" -> lol, poor Weiss! oh, I'm so happy at the people you have mentioned in thsi chapter!! I mean, Francie AND Will! YAY!
That was a surprise. I guess I don't know where I thought they were, but I'm happy they're here now. :-)
""Sorry man," Will said with a smile, fork poised above his empty glass of champagne. "This is just too much fun. They're like little puppets." With that, his fork hit against the glass
once again, quickly joined by the others surrounding him." -> so I read this paragraph, and thought...
""Haven't you spent any time with the two of them?" Weiss moaned, gesturing wildly toward the newlyweds before surrendering with an exasperated sigh and sitting back down.
"They do that all the time anyway. They don't need you to bang a damn glass!"" ->...that. ;-) not with an exasperated sigh, though, I just thought that myself, with amusement.
"Francie just shook her head, grinning as she rolled her eyes. "Just because you broke yours three hours…" 'And seven drinks ago," Will added, raising his own glass to Weiss in an
appreciative toast. "… doesn't mean that we…"" -> hahahahaha, oh, my goodness, I cannot even tell you how entertaining this whole conversation is! Hopefully, you know. It
just rocks! So good! Wonderful writing, and capturing of humor, and character!
"They said their goodbyes, lingering for a few moments outside his mother's car after they had safely buckled in their sleeping boys and kissed them goodbye." -> Maybe it's just
because of the wedding receptions I've been to, but I got a kick out of how you had "they said their goodbyes," be over and done with at the start of the sentence. It made it seem
like that process was just a simple, easy thing, and after the lingering, bang!, they were out of there. ;-) Anyway, I liked that.
"between Charlotte's stellar planning abilities and Jack's seemingly endless connections, they had had everything they could have ever wanted and then some." -> no kidding.
that's how to get things done. the can-do and the know-how.
"Silence followed them into the back of the limo, the driver, the son of one of Jack's friends, whisking them off to their apartment without a word." -> you know, this line just
randomly decided to trigger memories of that one episode where Francie requested restaurant help, talking about Jack's friends, or whoever. :-P That was a funny time. I still laugh
at that.
Oh! It's time for a slightly-off topic tangent, as it's been too long into this review without one. Guess what I did the other day? Watched a bunch of first-season episodes from the
DVDs! :-D Haha, yes, I finally did some of what I've been saying I need to do, all summer long. I started off looking at the S2 DVD set, wondering what I wanted to watch. I
couldn't decide on wanting to watch enough of one whole DVD right then, so I looked at the S1 set, and I was in the mood to watch the whole darn season. ;-) So, I watched most
of 2 disks. lol. I didn't get a whole lot accomplished that day, as you might have guessed. lol. Anyway, it was so much fun, I just started at the very beginning, and it was great.
Now I think I'll have to jump back to S2, find that episode I was just talking about, and then eventually get back to S1.
""And she likes to drive in the rain." -> interesting. I've never really known anyone that likes to drive in the rain. I know some people who are adamantly against driving in the
rain, but most of the people I know (myself included) are fairly neutral about it, even still to the negative side of driving in the rain. I much prefer to be zipping down some road, at
a faster speed than rain usually allows, with my sunroof open. ;-)
""Have I told you that yet today?" he added, only half teasing as he smoothed her hair back behind her ear." -> agh. man, you're killing me... guys should all be like that!
"After he helped her from the backseat, Sydney barely had time to consider the strange emptiness of getting out of a vehicle without turning to unbuckle at least one of her little
boys or the promise of them waiting to greet her inside. Before the thought could do more than touch upon her mind, Vaughn had swept her off her feet and into his arms without
so much as a word in explanation." -> and that, I just loved it. It was so... perfect. Absolutely. I can't stop wanting to rave about how much I just loved this. It stuck a chord, I
guess.
"It was hardly a protest, couldn't even be considered halfhearted and was not by any means enough to make him relinquish his hold. Both knew that if she really wanted to, she
could have her feet back on the ground in no time at all, and most likely would have pinned him there as well. But she laughed even as she spoke, the sound of it jingling through
the letters of his name, spurring him onward as her arms encircled his neck, drawing her closer to him." -> lol!
"Vaughn never quickened his steps and Sydney didn't make a motion to hurry him; though the feeling of it may never subside, they couldn't stay newlyweds forever." ->
aw. I mean, really, AW. this is such a wonderful epilogue.
"That bright smile was still playing on her lips and he toyed with the idea of stealing it from her, but deep down he knew that commercial airlines were not in the habit of waiting,
even for honeymooners, and had to settle for whispered speech instead." -> excellent! I love how you just kept the focus of the sentence on them, and in the meantime made
common knowledge something "deep down," just adding humor to it. Wonderful, wonderful sentence.
You know, it's the afternoon. you wouldn't think I'd have to be brewing coffee right now. you also prolly wouldn't think i'd have to have a way large coffee, and then pop, to make
it through my two afternoon classes yetserday. it's tiring, life.
"She seemed to surprise both of them as she spoke, her heart stealing the reins of language as it had so many times before and whipping words and wishes from her tongue that
wouldn't have otherwise been known." -> lol, really? As soon as Vaughn made that offer, I was figuring she'd say what she did.
"It was impossible to cleave the two halves from their mingled whole, to decipher exactly what she meant by those three simple words, whether her comment carried with it the
frenzied desire that was suddenly prickling his own skin or was merely the yawning, childish confession of not wanting to fall asleep alone." -> wow. WOW. how do you break
apart such "small" things as this, so incredibly well?! it's insane. :-D I love it.
"Barely moving as he said it, it took a few sleepy seconds for his feet to begin to propel him backwards; he retreated towards their bedroom as far as he could go without breaking
eye contact, only stopping when his back bumped against the wall, sending him jolting into reality and scurrying down the hallway before he could hear if she laughed." -> that's
good, because anyone would've at least chuckled. lol. personally, I laughed. that's nothing new.
"The picture was a little off center and a tad crooked, the result of him nearly dropping the camera. Ilya was reaching towards something out of the shot, his mouth open, face
twisted in sudden concentration; Gabriel's hand had been dropped, his fleeting attention turned toward his older brother. It was Sydney who held the entire photo together, her
smile radiant, genuine, eyes sparkling and dimples dancing in her cheeks. The fact that she was no longer looking towards the camera didn't matter; it was a smile that could not
be garnered on command, even to have captured a sideways shot of it was worth more than gold." -> props for using the verb "garnered." lol. and y'know, I know exactly what
you mean. staged things are never so good. my friends and i were in some staged pictures over the summer, per the request of our parents. for some reason, the parents liked one
of the posed pictures the best. my friends and i are torn over liking better: a picture that's completely random, we don't know what happened that caused our hysterical laughter
anymore, or another picture that some of us weren't aware was happening, with just mixed behaviors showing up on film. they both were in a staged setting, and we were aware
pictures were being taken, but these showed our selves more than the smiling and hugging ones did.
"All of this, the smile, the turned heads and four dollars later spent at the ice cream truck that had caught the little boy's eye, had been the reaction to one simple word:
morozhenoye – the Russian equivalent to ice cream." -> true story: so, I was reading the previous paragraph for the first time, whenever that was. I just kinda wondered what had
happened that caused the picture to be skewed and spontaneous like that. (note: I never said this was an INTERESTING true story.) A few things went through my mind, okay. I
didn't even know if you would say what happened, or if you'd just leave it up to life to provide us with our best guess. Then I read this sentence, and I was jsut FLOORED. Not only
was it adorable and perfect, but it was exactly something that could produce the result you described, without being overly-sensational and dramatic, like somebody started yelling
at a winning lottery ticket nearby in the park. (pardon the VERY lame example.) anyway, it was just perfect. absolutely wonderful. thank you, for it.
"It had been four dollars well spent, the sticky frozen sugar worth every penny, calorie and so much more. In two and a half weeks, barely more than two words had been added to
the child's vocabulary: no, uh oh and sometimes pwease joining the regular ranks of Bahn, Tyd, Babe and daddy; meetings with various therapists had been set up and clearly
marked on the calendar. Ice cream had been their first breakthrough, the first connection between the child's old and new lives, the first real bit of hope for the future." -> :-D and
that paragraph was just excellent. you just summarized how Ilya was the past few weeks, and suddenly giving hope.
"The future was something Vaughn had given a lot of thought to these past few weeks; it used to signify nothing more than the passing of time, an ever-distant period that, given
his life and job, he might never obtain. Now it had taken on such greater meaning, was watching his little boys grow and thrive, stealing seconds with Sydney that always seemed
to end too quickly but left the hope of more kisses lingering in the air… It was everything." -> I think I should perhaps just quote the whole entire chapter back to you. :-) but you
sure are pulling out all the stops with this final chapter here!!
""Vaughn?... Can you help me with this?"" -> lol, way to go... my first thought was "uh, oh," because knowing how you can just take it upon yoruself to write scenes, I could instantly see this just going in it's own direction, and no surprises or plane flights would be happening after that. :-P
"His fingers ached to linger over the newly revealed skin, but he couldn't let them, willed himself to concentrate on the sound of the rain that had begun to beat against the windows in time with the stubbornly growling zipper." -> hahahahahaha, how good of Vaughn to try so hard...
"Either way, it couldn't be ignored; he wouldn't let it." -> UH. wow.
"His arms wrapped protectively around her, all efforts not to touch her foiled as he kissed the nape of her neck in comfort, chin resting on her shoulder as he waited for her response." -> first reading, I still wasn't sure that this scene just wouldn't take off in it's own direction. lol.
"After three years, after she had both followed and defied his orders, shouted and smiled, lived with him, slept with him, kissed him, cried, cared, soothed, given him two sons and… Nothing had changed. Nothing. From that very first time he had allowed himself to admit it, until now, and still ticking by with each passing second. He wanted her, he needed her. He wanted to need her and her to need him. Simply put, he loved her. Whether Bluebird, Freelancer or Mountaineer; Christiana Stevens, Joanna Kelly, Victoria King or Kate Jones; Sydney Bristow or Sydney... Vaughn." ok, I knew I was going to wind up quoting both paragraphs, with basically the same response, so I'll just say it once, right now, with added "emphasis" to make up for not saying it twice: WOW. BEAUTIFUL WRITING. HAHA ELLIPSES. LOL JUST KIDDING. EXCELLENT WAY TO BRING UP EXCELLENT MEMORIES, IN THE PROCESS OF MAKING YOUR POINT. I THINK I WANT TO WATCH MORE OF MY DVDS SOON. UM, YOU ROCK, THANK YOU, GREAT STUFF.
"He almost screwed everything: his surprise, their honeymoon… just so he could tear that dress off her and kiss her, make love to his wife for the first time and the rest of the night." -> at the start of this sentence, I thought that the "everything" that he almost screwed up would be something serious, i.e. their future together, or something, you know. lol. especially after the paragraph about his worst fear. but then you plowed on ahead, saying "his surprise, their honeymoon," and not only was I relieved that it wasn't something serious, but that (not that I cared personally all that much, but I figured it would be better for them) the scene did flow into getting out of the house/bedroom. lol. I'm very impressed.
"He didn't know why he had asked it, had thought that the answer would be glaringly obvious; but he seemed hardly in control of anything that night, whether it be the weather or his own words and actions. Neither of them were surprised when her answer came quickly, a single word that was linked to the end of his question, nearly voiced before he had the chance to finish." -> lol! I'd say the answer was glaringly obvious, too. I actually laughed when I read that question. :-D
"She readily promised and he drove, his fingers threaded through hers the entire way." -> ahh, the luxuries of driving an automatic... not that I don't love my car, and a stick shift isn't fun, but y'know, sometimes you just miss being able to drink coffee with ease while driving (hahahaha! I totally didn't even plan to use that as an example... it's very "me," though), or be hunting for something with your right hand in the glove box while accelerating after a corner, stuff like that.
"She sighed, her eyelids beginning to flutter open with the sound of his voice, her own thick with sleep even after such a short nap. "W-where…?"" -> wow, she was tired indeed, to be that asleep already.
"Sydney expected his lips to trail downwards and find her own, feeling instead the sudden chill of his hand disentangling from hers and his presence vacating the space close beside her." -> wow. what a sentence. first there was a "sudden chill" and then "disentangling" was going on. I love it. :-D
""Is this yours?" she asked, breathless, surprised that even those words came out clearly." -> hee, looks like somebody isn't making the fastest transition into the pronoun changes you have when you get married (if not even sooner).
"Vaughn shrugged as her words trailed off, seemed almost unwilling to give away his secret, trying to make light of what had clearly been no little purchase. "Savings… Money from my father… You dad chipped in a bit, too…"" -> aw! :-) And Jack, too! let's have another collective "aw!"
"Finally, out of pity if nothing else, it relented, swinging open and allowing them to tumble in out of the elements." -> that sentence absolutely ROCKS. wonderful, wonderful. I laughed! it's so great. I see I'm getting nearer to the end of this chapter, and while I'm likely not setting any length-records here, I don't care, I'm more sad about just reaching the end! (I'm like Grover, trying not to let people reach the "monster" at the end of this, er, story. It'll be funnier if that actually makes any sense to you. lol.)
"Any exclamation of thanks or praise would be laughable in its inability to carry the intensity required, would pale in comparison to this gesture he had performed for her, for them." -> you know, except for a few pronoun changes, I could've written this sentence just of my own accord, in hopes of telling you why I sound pathetically like a broken record every time I try and comment on something. lol. Of course, I couldn't have written this, because I can never find the proper words anyway, and I don't know why I'd start now! :-P
"A hurried, repeated clicking was evidence that he had found it, but the darkness was unchanging and mocking, the success of his quest inconsequential." -> ha, he's on a roll, what with the door and the lights trying to make this less of an impression on her.
""I don't need to; I love it already." She turned into him, her hands running up both his arms, tugging his lips toward hers. "Show it to me," she murmured as she pulled away, her voice so small and filled with such awe that he would have never thought she had so much as glimpsed at the evil of the world, seemed a thing wildly pure and untainted." -> good girl. very excellent answer, to ease the poor man's nerves. :-D and, at the same time, WOW, to that last sentence.
I just finished eating this ravioli that I warmed up 50 minutes ago. (Now, when I say eating, I mean, of course, forgetting. I keep going back to reading and reviewing, and every so often I take two bites when I realize oops, I'm still hungry.) Anyway. It's worth noting that at the end of finishing the ravioli, it was still lukewarm! that's very impressive staying power, of the heat in those noodles. I'm also finishing my pop from class yesterday, which is hovering a little below lukewarm. That's also imrpessive stayig power, this time of the coolness. I'm not eating very well. lol. lukewarm pasta and pop. Yum. But. Getting back on track...
"But with each and every opening of a door, she would still give him that smile, the very one he lived and breathed for, shining so brightly that he didn't need the help of electricity to see what was before him." omg. what a sentence. j'adore...
""The fourth bedroom," he responded with a shrug, pushing the door open and ushering her inside. She hadn't spoken or even so much as moved her fingers or lips, but he could sense her inner gears grinding in a quick lesson at mental math, just as his had when the realtor had told him about the house: the two of them, Ilya, Gabriel, and… "It can be the guest room or an office or something, until… unless we need it for… something else…"" -> haha!/aw... but as if for even a minute she's actually going to take the guest room or office suggestion seriously... a fourth bedroom is a fourth bedroom, especially for such lovebirds.
"As real as the heat of her body as it pressed close against his own, the glint of her eyes as her head tilted up to face him, and her soft silhouette, a shape he had memorized, would be able to seek out and select from even the darkest shadows. When she spoke, her voice was low, almost trembling, barely powerful enough to force its way through the pounding rain and give breath to what they both thought, both wanted, but were for some reason too consumed with fear to admit." -> "for some reason" they were too consumed with fear. lol. I bet I could list a couple of those reasons off the top of my head... it's not like they're hard to come by...
""A bedroom for our little girl?"" -> yay, again, for Sydney and her right answers. :-D
""But the honeymoon," she protested, and he knew she couldn't help how it came across as halfhearted. He had had to claw through every last of her motherly defenses to convince her to take this trip with him, and now that he had finally willed her in its favor, it would take far less effort to turn her against it." -> she's got quite blinding committment to her children, if she can't even easily decide to go to PARIS with VAUGHN. Dang, Sydney. lol.
"A few steps down the hall rewarded him with the outline of her figure in an open doorway, the one that led to his old room, he remembered, his heart skipping a beat at the thought of his own sons sleeping where he had as a boy." -> aw, that's so cool, of course his mother did that on purpose.
"All news from Russia had been quiet these past few weeks; Bykov's group showed no signs of further activity, and as the days had worn on, Vaughn had even allowed himself to hope that this was how it would remain. Bykov's words still lurked within the darkest corners of his mind, would continue to haunt him, prick him with doubt even at the most serene moments. He would go to the ends of the earth to protect his family, all of it, would fight with more ferocity than he ever had before; for now, that would have to be enough." -> thank you, for that paragraph. it is enough for now. wonderful.
"As if attuned to Vaughn's thoughts, Ilya stirred at that moment, tossing restlessly beneath the blankets and beginning to whimper. His nightmares had mostly disappeared in those three and a half weeks, but every once in awhile one would creep up on him, capturing his unwitting little mind for its merciless torture. During these dark nights and unsuspecting moments, the wide-eyed, trembling tears would return with a vengeance, all the tranquil day between forgotten." -> I hope you wanted me to furrow my brow at the words you strung together.. unwitting little mind... merciless torture... because I did. poor child... except not... lucky child...
"As Sydney leaned forward to soothe the whimpering little boy, Vaughn slid from behind her to the other side of the portable crib, tenderly lifting the still-sleeping Gabriel into his arms, smiling as his son instinctively snuggled against him." -> :-D :-D :-D that is SO cute. ugh. you really are trying to kill me, here.
"Even though the child had buried his face in the nape of her neck, his voice still held to those cooing baby tones and was peppered with fear and exhaustion, there was no mistaking his relieved and pleading near-sob in the sleepy silence of that very early morning." -> dude, "peppered" as a verb is AWESOME. I never remember it can be used that way. and yeah, this whole paragraph was just fantastic, besides that.
"After all their waiting and patient practice… there it was." -> you should know that one word made me full-out beam for a long time. :-D (In fact, that's actually why I didn't comment on that itself... all I would've done were to make :-D faces over and over and over - and i JUST did that - and also I would've said "there it is," because that was the first actual word response I had to it. lol.) So, I see your 'there it was.' That's an understandable reaction.
"A streak of moonlight illuminated part of Sydney's face, capturing half of her features as clearly as a photograph and leaving memory and imagination to paint the missing frames. Shock, disbelief and a delirious satisfaction coalesced into a gorgeous fusion of all-encompassing wonder that nearly topped them both over; her with the overpowering experience of the emotions themselves, and him from simply watching as they played over her." -> and then, because this is how you do things, you write that phenomenal paragraph to follow it up. I'm literally... I don't knwo what else to say. This is my favorite part of the epilogue. It's hard to say that unless I'm actually reading this paragraph at the time, and I know it. The rest, though, is also great, so if I'm not so involved in this section, I once again, can't decide what's the best part. Anyway. BEAUTIFUL work. My goodness. I just... and, coalesced?!?! FANTASTIC. I just want to sit here with my mouth-a-gaping, but I also know that the Lost Trout Look isn't especially flattering, so I need to move on.
"Those words, that moment, the feel of her in his arms, almost did him in. He wasn't sure how he was able to keep standing and breathing, wouldn't admit that the sudden blurring of his vision might have been due to unshed tears. Leaning over, he kissed both their sons, comforting one and careful not to wake the other. Their mother was next, his lips impulsively seeking hers and lingering upon them, loath to tear themselves away." -> SERIOUSLY. seriously. I don't know what to say. I just can't... don't... huh. :-O "loathe to tear themselves away." wow.
"He faltered, unsure why he was trembling here. They had slept under the same roof for so long now that he all but forgot what it was to fall asleep without her. Add to that the fact that they had slept (and… not slept) on airplane seats and cargo bays, couches, various chairs, cots, the floor, and so many other random places over the months that his sudden insecurity was almost silly." -> hahaha... I love love love it...
"But Sydney grinned, pushing the butterflies from her own stomach and seeming to catch onto his thoughts. "I don't think we're going to sleep much anyway."" -> [see above]
"He smiled in agreement, the little boys in their arms all that kept him from kissing her then and there, a sudden frantic need filling him, mocking him with the fact that he had not yet slept with his wife; and he knew that one more kiss, one more taste of her would be a tease, would overwhelm him because it simply could not be enough. And so, once again, he took her hand, leading her down the hallway and past his mother's smiling eyes. "Let's go home."" -> there is no better way to end that story. oh, I might cry, I'm so sad it's over! no more moments of absolute amazement, made up of both admiration and hopeless surprise that the story was SO good. "It's the end of an era, you might say." (points to you if you know where I stole that from.) Wow. As happy as this story always makes me to read it, I'm very sad right now. Anything else you have to write... I'm starving, reaching for crumbs here.
WOW. Once again I was at a loss with where to go, what to say next, so I thought I would just check on my length. I surpassed my expected goal by... well, okay. I had no "goal," I just wanted to properly give this amazing send-off it's due. But it didn't seem like I said much at all, so when I was 6 pages past what it felt like I'd written, that imrpessed me. :-D I pride myself on being able to talk my way through most things, and I guess I didn't fail here, either.
Anyway. So... yeah. I don't know. I'm in a very bipolar mood right now. I'm going to go, drink the last of my coffee for the day, and I'll email at a later date. Have a marvelous day/week/weekend, and thank you for everything, certainly not least of all your patience in waiting for this review! :-) |
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