Ok...I've just put up a new version of my old Doctor Who story. And I've encountered some glitches in the process. Gr. The page brakes didn't get put it as it uploaded so now I have go back and fix them. Otherwise it just runs on and on with no breaks at all. UGH! This thing is frustrating sometimes. Please bear with me as I correct it.

I haven't read it all, because I'm in a hurry. However...
The premise is interesting, if not terribly unique. Your writing style isn't really gripping, though--writing in present tense seems to take away from the story, not to mention that I noticed at least one place where you switched to past tense for a few sentences.
Oh, and a pet peeve of mine... TARDIS. It's an acronym--all capital letters. But that's just me...
I'll finish this story and read the others. Your writing is good, but there's room for improvement--cheers!

A real good story. Very entertaining.
Anise.