jbramx2 2004-05-17 . chapter 3woah! Kaoru the divorcee. Interesting, yet it works. ^^ Ah no! Usui! he's bad news alright.
SQUE!! ENISHI! *dancing* finally we see Enishi! So hey, is this gonna still be Enishi/Misao? *points to fanfic summary saying it'll be "E/M for now"* I hope it stays! Totally love that pairing. But most of all, love the two characters. Also gotta love that you made him the cool psychologist. XD Despite him acting psychotic in RK, he sure was good at the psychological torture game with Kenshin. Therefore, making him the cool shrink is brilliant. Heh, heh, can't wait till he meets Misao. This should be very interesing! :)
Oh, I wrote up a bit of advice in the review of the previous chapter but decided not to post it yet. I hope I do not offend you. I do mean well. This fanfic is interesting to me, but I felt some issues needed to addressed in order to help you make this more successful. So far it seems as tho you're literally copying the whole chapter out of the novel and only changing names with RK names. Not a good idea, since people will lose interest. Not everyone who comes to read a Misao fanfic likes reading mystery novels. I do tho, and I'm curious about how this mystery will be solved. However at the same time, I could very well just pick up the book at my library and read it myself. But no, I want to see how the RK characters will work in this kinda of setting. You must remember that people come to fanfiction.net to read about their favorite characters interacting in different or new situations. This is AU for Rurouni Kenshin, but you still have to stay true to the characters. I hope my advise doesn't offend you. I read the other reviews and got the feeling you were trying to stay as true to the novel as possible especially because someone had already read the novel. Please do not limit yourself because of this. To do a parody of a story (doesn't matter if this is a mystery, it is still taking an original work and slightly changing it)...it is not necessary to completely copy all dialogue or copy all scenes from the original work. A correct parody must (at the least) use key elements of the original work. Key elements would be basic plotline, setting, and perhaps some (but not all) character traits (such as occupation, relationships, past history, wardrobe). A fanfic parody of this type should mostly be choosing which characters best fit in which roles, and then letting the characters loose and notice how similar they act to the characters of the original story. But if you can't do that...in the case of a fanfic, it's better to stay true to the anime characters than to the original work. Follow the basic plot, use the same settings, but have the anime characters run the show. For now, my best advice would be to edit Aoshi's dialogue in the first chapter. |
jbramx2 2004-05-17 . chapter 2It took me a while to figure out why you'd pick Yumi of all the female RK characters to be Misao's friend, but then reading what she does, what she's like and the fact that she's gonna die in this fanfic, does make sense. Good choice! ^^ Squee! Souji Okita! *giggling* he's a cutie. ^.^ *blinks* but Aoshi has icy blue eyes... and omigod! ya made him curse! Outloud! (and to his mom?!) *faints* Truthfully, I don't think it's relevant to the plot whether he cusses or not, so that'd be my only complaint in this chapter. If this had been Enishi or Sanosuke, then it'd make sense. But Aoshi's so reserved, even when he's seriously **, he doesn't cuss. He's like above cussing, ya know? You may want to rethink him when you write him again in this story. This story shouldn't be a total copy of the novel, otherwise it's not truly fanfiction. It's just a copy of the novel with the names switched with names of the RK characters.
Now I can totally see Aoshi being Tomoe's older brother. In RK, Aoshi was somber and bitter for losing his friends, here he could be somber and bitter about losing Tomoe. Either way, tragedy is a big part of his character. And hey, if he's gotta cuss, it'd make more sense to keep the cussing only in his thoughts. That would make the way you write him a lot more believable. Remember he's an introvert.
ew, Chou! lol, actually I like Chou a lot. but even then, I can forgive you making him a nasty character here. tis fitting, for just as I can see the potential for good in him, I can also see a lot of potential for being this bad and nasty. Good choice, can't wait to read what happens next. ^^ So many characters, wow. @_@ |
jbramx2 2004-05-17 . chapter 1*shivers* wow, that's creepy. O__o; Katsuhiro...*scratching head trying to remember who he was in the anime* Anyhoo, interesting, poor Tomoe. But tis a bit confusing, for a moment I thought there was another character besides Katsuhiro who was talking. So he's got two personalities then? *whistles* scary... but interesting, hm, let's see what's in store for Misao and Yumi. Good prologue...or...adaptation of the novel's prologue? *scratching head not knowing how to compliment story* |
Fieryshadow 2004-04-28 . chapter 4 Sorry for not replying to the last chapter. It was brilliant by the way. And so is this chapter. A friend told me that there's a tv movie version to the book. I haven't seen it but I doubt it can compare with the book. Anyway, keep up the good work. |
gabyhyatt 2004-04-04 . chapter 3who was kaorus ex husband? |
gabyhyatt 2004-03-26 . chapter 2great fic, please update soon. |
Gailstorm 2004-03-26 . chapter 2I'm beginning to really like this story. Please keep writing, cause I'm looking forward to reading more chapters. :) |
Fieryshadow 2004-03-26 . chapter 2 No, you're not messing anything up. I'm still loving it. I look forward to the next part. I'm going to start printing this out for my sister. She loved the book too. |
Fieryshadow 2004-03-17 . chapter 1 OMG! Loves Music Loves to Dance is my FAVORITE book. I can't wait to read the rest of this story. If it's anything like the book, it's going to be fabulous. |
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