Well, first off, I'd like to say I really enjoyed most of the chapters. The characterization was great and the writing was solid.

However, I will have to agree with that one reviewer, Fred, about the ending. Although, I was not as confused about as he was. I still felt that the story was unresolved. You wrote the whole Griever issue as something to be dealt with. At least that's what I perceived, especially when you described Griever as an entity bent on its own survival using highly questionable means, then the whole gang showed up to help Squall and Rinoa with this situation. All this build up and it was sort of for nothing because Rinoa continued the cycle instead of taking a stand against it. At this point, I was only hoping for some deep character building as Squall and Rinoa worked through her decision, but your last chapter did not explore this aspect much. Their talk was rather superficial and left too many loose ends for them to have just made up so quickly.

In addition, I have to admit that Ciel did not have enough characterization to make her have meaning for me. In fact, I felt no connection to her because I did not have much from the story to establish any empathy.

I hope you don't view my review as a flame of some sort. But I felt I should voice my opinion after reading the whole story. I really did enjoy reading your fic, it's just that the last couple of chapters leading towards the end were not as tightly written plot-wise as your beginning.

A nice ending. Sorry for not reviewing earlier. ^^;

It was nice the way Squall and Rinoa got things fixed up. Sweet!! =^^=

It was worth the wait for the ending. Hope you write some more sometime!!

~Charm65~

really liked the ending! glad ceil and zell got it together and that rinoa and squall mamaged to work things out. also enjoyed the little lauguna and raine flash backs.

*sigh* all good things come to an end, eh?
It was great seeing that Raine could be incorporated into nearly every chapter, and that most of the relationships were dynamic :D Very charming, and totally awesome!
Well, I enjoyed it all, thanks for posting and completing it!!

And lastly, just a few things that might need checking:
eye-level with the most [fiersome] beast of all.
~ fearsome

cooed and soothed more than [anthing ]
~ anything

had [conjoured] the spells used, the
~ conjured

He'd go to Hades itself for you.
~ (I thought Hades was the keeper of the dead?)

terrors and [agressions] of so many years in
~ aggressions

Squall [layed] upon the soft grown grass
~ lay

Ack! Almost at the end!
Hm, might just be me, but Griever seemed almost OOC in his greeting to Rinoa. In previous chapters he seemed more solemn and serious, but here he’s almost mocking her *shrug* hehe

Heh, and if I forgot to mention it, love the chapter titles ^_^ very fitting.


[Reguardless,] there must be a Lionheart under
~ Regardless,

Thrusting the small [velet] box in his
~ velvet

his [utter] darkened soul.
~ utterly

Ciel must live, your child cannot die.
~ (wait, I though that if he gets the child, then Ciel won’t really matter that much to him any more?)

Rinoa [quieried,] already knowing
~ queried

[Cruely,] Griever placed a [mystified] claw on Rinoa's [imobile stomac,]
~ “Cruelly,” ... “mystical” ... “immobile stomach”

She felt eery, like just being
~ eerie

a frog jumped into the [mirky] pond.
~ murky

[Whose] the one with the secrets,
~ Who’s

=__= my dad turned off the computer and killed my previous would-be previews *sigh* I'll have to go back later and try to rewrite 'em... But for now:

Ch. 13
Hehehe enter the gang XD Wow, they make things more complicated and yet, exciting! Haha, I can't help but smile, it's wonderful how you can identify who's speaking without having to be tedious with "blablabh" said selphie, etc ^_^ Good characterizations!
With everyone crowding into their town, the Winhillians (or whatever the residents call themselves) must be thrilled hehe~
Ah...heartbreaking ending, since we already know the outcome :( Raine downplays herself too much, but she knows what she's doing, eh? ^_^ I enjoy your portrayal of her character.

Ch 14
Edea's conversation with Laguna is probably my favourite so far, it brings out the forever tormenting debate, to which he already knows the outcome, yet repeats it everyday. Dunno if I'm making sense, but ah well.


I [hoe] you get this letter
~ hope

[Realitization] grazed Laguna's face as he
~ Realization

Rinoa asked [sarchastically.]
~ sarcastically


CH 15
Heheh, it seems I’ve no way of deciding what my ultimate favourite part is, but love segments in each chapter XD So, for this chapter, I’d say Laguna’s speech about life to Squall

I do like the personal touch you’ve added by having the writing awards and ceremonies, but I always imagined he was writing most of the articles while running around trying to find Ellone. Ah well, it works well with your story :D It’s nice to see a story where Raine gets to enjoy her marriage! Intriguing move to have Julia appear, adds an interesting twist to things. (The end of that section was a bit, awkward. Lol I dunno)
The GF tour was pretty cool ^_^ Descriptive, and elegant.
Gah, you certainly had Griever live up to his namesake. Nearly unbearbly solemn -_- Poor Laguna


out of his forearms [slived] through the air in
~ sliced

Whatever comfort [ther] could be was little.
~ there

He was [responcible] for the heirs of the line,
~ responsible

powerless to [ressurect] him,
~ resurrect

you caused him to [loose] faith and hope
~ lose

in a [magestic] roar as Laguna watched Ciel
~ majestic

Great to see the balance between following the game’s storyline (journalist writing and such) and incorporating such emotional detail (gah! Raine…!)
(sorry for the lack of constructive criticism, it seems I’m too absorbed in the story to write a proper review ^_^) A hint of sadness, and a surreal feeling at the end there
PS Love the chapter titles, awesome~


town waited with [catched] breaths to
~ hmm, not quite sure what to put there

Laguna [paniced,]
~ panicked

Raine coughed up some [flegm]
~ phlegm (heh, that word is always a tricky one)

in a perpetually dismal [scoul.]
~ scowl.

"Dad!" [responce] from Squall.
~ response

exploding in [a over exagerated] poofing gesture.
~ an over exaggerated

random [pidgeons] said they missed you too"
~ pigeons

as he walked [downt he] stairs and
~ down the

Wow, I cannot imagine finding the time to write during finals 0_0 Power to you! Hehe, then again, I can relate to procrastinating in any form during cramming season *cough*
*beams* Love the opening of this chapter, it reads like a movie. Tension dissipating because of his caring wife. A slow smile returning. I can picture golden sunlight streaming in, with the glasses in the back twinkling... Lovely :D


scanning the envelope then [hurredly] retrieved the letter,
~ hurriedly

The rest of the [rooms] occupants stayed silent,
~ room’s

woman veiled in [myst] playing the
~ mist

as she still held the [deth] grip on his waist with her legs.
~ death

[worredly] looking at Raine before presenting herself to Laguna
~ worriedly

in the hands of two crude outsider [man],
~ men

“When did Kiros the mighty warrior become a babysitter?” Mwawhahaha oh loyal sidekick, what a position you’re in ^_^ Reminds me of this one doujinshi...
Hehe, again, love the teasing between the couples, it adds that layer of extra goodiness to the story :D Gah, was that a cliffhanger!? Trickster! (heheh, but lucky me the chapter’s are already up XD)


kissing and nipping gently at the [delecate] skin
~ delicate

nipping [breifly] at Raine's upturned ear.
~ briefly

Kiros said, giving an [exasporated] sigh as
~ exasperated

I'm shocked that you would even [concider]
~ consider


at each other then back onto the [sceen,]
~ scene

looked at him mischieviously and
~ mischievously

Ooh, very interesting take on Griever ^_^ A GF with quite the persona.
I like this line “All he got was a moron who shouted when someone'd get too close to somethinng.” Heh, again “like father, like son” ;)
Drama! Well written :D! And the light-hearted endings are great, whee!


but what people [havn't] figured out,
~ haven’t

sort of [staccatto] rhythm offset by the [sporratic]
~ staccato … sporadic

Guess you couldn't blame him Laguna [laguna] thought,
~ Laguna


"Will it help if I [appologize] for getting snippy?"
~ apologize

Squall gave Laguna a [surrepticious] glance,
~ surreptitious

Kermit the frog, eh? Hehehe ^_^
Totally enjoying the playful banter, and general humour :D
Ah, pretty cool how things flow between the flashbacks and the present time, very nice how it connects!
:| ack! Laguna was pretty scary there, I agree with Raine. But I do like the ending of this chapter, brings a sense of peace *whew*

not a good move [concidering] it meant
~ considering

and Kiros was [suposedly] returning with what
~ supposedly

him to fight, and it was [wierd,]
~ weird

a Guardian Force [endebted] to Raine's Line
~ indebted


I suddenly died and was [burried] without
~ buried

and it [scarred] her senseless to see him so alive.
~ scared

when it finally did come, was a low [gutteral] growl,
~ guttural

I'm not going to lie, you [scarred] me.
~ scared

Heh, just wondering, can Maid get a name? I mean, I always figured Laguna to be a little too personable to not meet everybody around him. *shrug* just a random question :D
Twin!? Wah!
And the camera thing, that was unexpected and a nice surprise :D

sat laughing from too much [impecable]wine,
~ impeccable

I could [recommend] the perfect waterproof
~ recommend

say things he was [definately] going to regret.
~ definitely

"Oh?... Congradulations, by the way"
~ Congratulations

a box of [Raine's, birth certifiates, lettres,] pictures,
~ “Raine’s birth certificates, letters,”

Nothing [embarrasing,] is there?
~ embarrassing

slumping his free arm around her, [pulled] her closer and
~ pulling

[occured] to Laguna that Raine must have kept the tapes, tears [sporratically]
~ occurred …sporadically

Who was to say if [tommorrow] Rinoa fell down
~ tomorrow

as eternally sacred, a [piece] of Raine.
~ piece

Wow, I’ve missed out on so much! Gah! I’m behind in reading an reviewing =_= sorry for then neglect!
Hm, although Laguna is undeniably a talker, he seems a bit too babbly haha! Maybe he’s super nervous, but still, the run-on sentences run-on a lot (like the paragraph after playing in the rain, it’s sort of rushed. The concept is good, but maybe it’s better as a flashback? Heh, after all, his audience might be kind of overwhelmed at the amount of detail he’s pouring out there...)

^_^ Laguna teaching Raine to dance, how cute! It’s great how you add details like that, to make the story more whole :D!!

grand living room, with [it's] plush leather couches,
~ its

brisk beverage, [laguna] leaned over,
~ Laguna

she'd look at me so [mischevious] and tempting,
~ mischievously

world to listen to an old man [remanisque]."
~ reminisce

whined insecently, but that didn't matter,
~ incessantly

while listening fascinatedly as I told her stories
~ fascinated

she had made me forget Julia all together,
~ altogether (hm, but wouldn’t that comment make Rinoa a bit uncomfortable?)

I went to her, she [ ] startled, and pointed to where
~ was

where I find myself remenisquing and it hurts so
~ reminiscing

I really enjoyed this story! Thank you very much!