Hey again, Been pretty long since I saw you write another Dawn story, I loved this chapter as much as the first...you write Michael so real and like he was in the movie, hope I can do the same! keep writting!

I really enjoy the fact that you are exploring the characters. I LOVE what you've done so far! Can't wait for the next chapter!
Jenn

This is SO good! I love the movie, and it is really cool to see someone delve further into the characters. Monica was my favorite secondary character, and I felt she deserved a lot more characterization, which you have given her beautifully. Please continue to write such thoughtful pieces, and I will continue to check back!

LOLOLOLOL!! I loved it. Back off Monica...Michael is not yours..lol. I love how you put this in tho. Very good. Can't wait to read more.

Absolutely utterly and completely fantastic. I loved the interaction between Monica and Michael. If only the writers had discovered this - although their intentions were probably not to make us feel for Monica the Sexpot. But you did precisely that... I almost feel bad remembering the iminent death this newly-discovered Monica faces. What a great grasp you have! Perfect - completely flawless.

Wow...that was probably one of the best DOTD stories I've read yet! I'm in college trying my face off to become a literature critic, so it's hard to to analyze everything I read...but I loved your story! Awesome character development, I applaud you!
~Aralynn

Very well done. I have a little trouble seeing some of the characters saying a few of the things that they said in your story. I like that you give the 2D characters some depth but I wouldn't mess with the already good characters. Other than that, award winning and I can't wait to read more!

Hey, just want to say great story! I enjoyed Dotd (both original and remake) and am happy some people are doing fanfics for them. Love your character development and a look into two of my fave characters from the movie Michael and Ana, also a nice take on Monica. Can't wait to see the other characters! Write on!

Ah ha!
What a glorious study break! I come cruising over, and am rewarded with more Scenes From A Mall! ::giggles and giddy-ness ensue::
Continuity is incredible here. It's not a disjoint series of events, it's a continuation. These aren't isolated dramas, they're a scenes placed together purposefully, as in a play: they have structure and overall continuity, even if they seem somewhat stand-alone. I love how not only do you use your own narrative continuity, you use the film's sequences to place each event in time: Michael is still injured, but we've already seen Monica and Steve hooking up, so we know *right* where we are in the sum total of the film's space. You make it look so easy!
You get the feel of the character just right, too, how Monica's walk announces her to Michael before he sees her, how Ana suddenly circles around him when she smells a threat (at least, it seemed unconscious to her, but she was definitely marking terratory there; I think Michael noticed it, too, given his response). And touching on her obviously rampant, if misguided libido, adding just that sour taste to it--it's not surprising that she's used it to survive, it explains the unanswered question of how she made it this far. Wanna tackle Steve on that question next? How the *heck* someone like him make it?
Oh! You saw the volleyball net on top of the roof too! Yay! I was thinking of adding that to a fic, actually, seeing as it's there, implying recreation but never used within the film. Maybe a sports-store raid? Steve was using their golf clubs...
I loved it. Or better yet, I give it my highest praise: I

Great work. I really liked this movie and I'm glad someone has added to it. Hope to see more.

GOOD STORY!

Ahh, delightful. See, this is what you miss when see only the dramatic as one must in a film. Your writing is so economic, you waste no sentence, no word is out of place, it all just flows marvelously. You've got some bang-on characterization here, and you manage to convey the characters' emotions without devolving into archetype. I can't wait for more of these scenes, perhaps covering some of the cuts we saw of the survivors in the mall? I will be checking back often!

I just adored this movie, and I adore this vignette... I truly hope you intend to expand it. I agree with what the first reviewer said - the movie left a lot to interpret and I love what you've done so far.
Just a suggestion - I really think you should do something with the character of Monica ... you know, chainsaw girl. It would be interesting to see your take on a character that was mostly thrown in for sex appeal.
AGain - GREAT job!

I loved it! I can't wait to read more!! Yah Micahel and Ana!

Nobody's reviewed & that sucks. *laugh* I'm quite happy to find some DOTD fiction, because I just saw the movie & while it was good, there wasn't a whole lot of character development, & there was a lot of room for interpretation.
The overall tone for thise piece is great. There's a sense of...what's the word...desperation, I think, & I like how it floats back & forth between hopeful & hopeless, if that makes any sense.
I also like how this stays in keeping with the overall feel of the film. In terms of the movie itself, this is very realistic.
Keep it up! The first part was great.