Excellent.

A remarkable fanfic.

I just finished reading your this fanfic. I really liked it. I am a big fan of GunSmith Cats I really liked the interaction between Bean and Rally. Hope you plan on more chapters. I just posted up my first fanfic on GSC also. You can check it out if you want.

I love this story almost as much as I love the comic itslef. The details create images in my mind so clear that it's like actually reading a new comic. The only complaint I have is the cliffhanger ending. Please write more as soon as you can.

I've re-read this fic. Let me say first, I appologize for my mistake in the last review I posted. Rally is sporting a '67, my bad.

The characterizations are much better and a lot closer than they previously were. Your writing stlye is a little rough. It never hurts to add in some alliteration and descriptions, they make the story easier for the reader to immerss themselves in it.

Slight problem with ch.6. Bean wouldn't give Rally his address. She works with the cops, and even if he knows she wouldn't turn the addy over to them without one HELLUVA reason he wouldn't take the chance that she could loose the card.

I'll stick around to the end of this, beacuse no matter what Sonoda-san does I'm a bit of a R/B fan myself.

I like the storyline. Sorry for my english, but I am a german native speaker. I hope for more...
Continue!
Saraton
P.S: I am also a big fan of the Bean Bandit/ Rally Vincent pairing!

Normally I would hate to leave a review (actually I could really wnd the sentence right there and be accurate) without reading the story first. But I was going to, even worse I was going to leave a review not responding to the story, but rather to a reviewer.
Instead I decided I really should at leaast read the story. I'm assuming your update contains some fairly significant alterations on whatever was posted previously, as I found the charecters to be reasonably in charecter, whith justifiable explanations for any point where they might be considered out of charecter. The story itself has promise (but then I'm something of a sucker for well written Rally/Bean stories) and I hope you choose to continue it.
The Dude Slayer raised a few points in their review that are either incorrect or just don't really make sense in comparison to what you actually wrote. Most of these I'll assume don't make sense because you have delt with them in your update, but the statement about Rally's car is just wrong.
The car Sonoda gives her is a 1967 GT-500, not a 1968. There are several easy ways to distinguish the two years. 1) the hood; the 67 has the hood scoop that is centered (mostly) in the middle of the hood, while on the 68 Shelby had moved the scoops to the front edge of the hood. 2) the headlights; in the 68 the highbeams are rectangular and mounted toward the outer edges of the grill. While on the 67 they were round and located together in the center of the grill (though I understand this detail was changed for some cars that year, I've heard the close placement supposedly caused overheating problems due to lack of airflow over the radiator). 3) Apparently all of the 1968 models used single carb systems, while the car Rally has is a Dual Carb setup (oval air filter cover, as seen in the Misfire trade when she wreckes the car. again.) For some reason it really bugs me when the car get identified incorrectly. :)
As to the comment about Rally being a lesbian, that's news to me (but The Dude Slayer did say it was "a little known fact" and I don't claim to be all knowing :P )
On the last comment, The Dude Slayer is completely correct, you should (assuming you have not already) read Mme. Manga's "Chasing the Dragon" story. I personally believe it is the best written piece of GSC fanfiction I have ever seen with both accurate charecter depictions and technical details. On the downside it has been over a year since that authors last release, ah well. just means I'll have time to reread it for something like the sixth or seventh time. :)
http://w.thecarsource.com/shelby/thecars.html
If the URL makes it through, this sight has some usefull information on the Shelby Mustangs.

I am going to start submitting some drastic revisions to this storyline.
I appreciate your comments, Dude Slayer, and I've taken them into consideration.
I am not an expert when it comes to cars, and I've only ever heard that the GT500 is a '67 model (from a friend who likes guns and cars).
I haven't read GSC for ages, and I saw the Riding Bean movie quite a while ago. I'm looking for some text translations to refresh my memory :) I wrote this story quite a few years ago, but I'd never gotten much C&C about it before, so I didn't know what to change, exactly.
Anyhow, the new version should start appearing soon, and I hope it's more in character. Maybe you'll like it?
I wouldn't mind getting C&C about it ^_^
--Lani

Problems. There are a number of problems with this fic, right from the start.
Your depiction of Rally and Bean is WAY into OOC. It's just not right.
Rally's a very confidant, motivated, and contradicting personality. The possibility that she would just suddenly allow this scenario to happen are near astronomical.
Bean is a motivated, self-preservationalist, and just straight up greedy. He's not like to change for anyone, unless the price is right. It's been shown (in the Return of Grey arc) that Bean's heart can be bought. Its more likely that Bean would have either pulled out a cigarette or ripped the door out of the wall than let this scenario grow, unless he felt it would be entertaining to go through.
Rally's GT-500 is a 1968 model; more built, faster engines, and slightly different bodies than the '67s and '69s.
Bean has NEVER ONCE been shown with a gun (manga or Riding Bean OVA). Bean's main weapon is his strength, skills, and an assorment of knives.
As stated, repeatedly, in the manga. Rally is a virgin and has little desire to change that. It's doubtful that in her first "date" with Bean it would change. And for a little known fact, Sonoda-san has stated that Rally is a lesbian, he's just working on how to bring that out.
If you want to do another GSC fanfic, I'd suggest taking a read through Madame Manga's "Chasing the Dragon" series. It's the most accurate depiction of the characters I've seen.