Who the fuck is "Rookie"?

:)

...

They're right you do have to put in more punctuation. And you also (this is a rule I didn't make it up) have to start a new paragraph every time someone new speaks. And you find the fact that you put in a cliff hanger funny?

Who the heck is Rookie? Don't you mean Rocky? And Petra's "rookies" names are Dino and Mite.

It's a good story! I just can't get over the lack of punctuation...

Good good...onto part three! My only question is...what do you have against punctuation marks? :B ::giggle::

Could use a bit of grammer and puncuation, but still good. I'd like to see how this turns out.

This part has to lead to something good! I wonder what Petra will do to Tony, Merlock, and Flint...

i guess it's a little better than the first except you need more detail ... and Merlock would know if sara was in any kind of danger than to ask who's voice it was... overall good plot... just need to spice it up

I think you mean obvious, not oblivious

Hey, I really like your fanfic. I just think that you shouldn't rush the story so much, and watch punctuation. I'm looking forward to reading the next one!:p

Okay-I have one major problem. I just can't see them going home right after Sara got kidnapped. Yeah, making a plan, yeah, restoring Flint's energy, but it's like "Okay guys...I guess Sara saved us all...yeah...maybe we should save her or something..." You know? I think you could have a really good story, More details and you'll be fine!

C

Still that little problem with detail. Detail is key to a story. But I'm liking the plot.

C

It's all right, but to make it really great, add more detail. Instead of them just bouncing around all over the place between sentences, try to space them out in different paragraphs with more discriptive language. But it really sounds great so far!

C