UPDATE, YOU LAZY WANKER!

very interesting, i love this set up. you seem to have a talent for starting unique stories

I like the idea of a story focusing on the Tendoi sisters. Plus the fact that Akane is acting so much more restrained with Ranma. Which ever sister will get him, I think this will be a great story as long as it continues!

dennisud

A great new twist. I look forward to seeing how you will develop it.

Innortal

In Chapter 1 you state:
"Nabiki had taken a course in Chinese & could now speak & write in all forms of Chinese."
I regret to inform you that there is basically one form of writing in Chinese and many many spoken dialects. These dialects are typically linguistically grouped as Mandarin, Wu, Hakka, Min, Yue, Xiang, Gan, Hui, Jin, and Pinghua. Each of these classification have their own variations. Technically spoken Chinese dialects are actually separate languages having only a common writing system.
All that being said, no matter how smart Nabiki is, there is no way that "taking a course in Chinese" will give you linguistic competancy in "all forms of Chinese"
You should maybe have Nabiki learn one dialect, as that seems to be what most people portray the Amazons as using.

Like the explanation of why Shampoo and the tendo sister's are getting along. Even though Cologne broke the engangement between shampoo and the Tendo's, but wouldn't Ranma have to defeat one of them are he going to do about Ukyo and the rest of the cast when they find out.

Jesus tap dancing Christ! This story is terrible, a mockery of the ‘decent’, although very rare, Ranma 1/2 stories on Fanfiction.net. Your characterizations of the Ranma 1/2 cast are a far cry from what was laid down in the Manga and the Anime. I completely agree with Aondehafka on several...well...ALL points that he/she made on your horrendous attempt at a fanfic. I have a few suggestions that may help you:
1) Learn how to spell. It can’t be that hard to use a spell checker for God’s sake. What the hell is chiese? Maybe your poor attempt at CHINESE? Assiganment? WTF?! How lazy are you, when you can’t even get your summery right?
2) Do us all a favor and remove your hands from the keyboard and do something more constructive with them besides butchering Takashi’s work, like... I don’t know...shooting yourself?
3) And perhaps refrain from having children? God knows we have enough stupid people as it is.

GREAT CHAPTER!

This story meshes very poorly with the series you're drawing your inspiration from. Allow me to point out some characterization issues.

Akane was present when Cologne instructed Ranma in how to train for the Amaguriken. Did she try to learn it? No.

Akane was present when Cologne instructed Ryoga in how to train for the Bakkusai Tenketsu. Did she try to learn it? No.

Akane was present when Cologne instructed Ranma in how to train for the Hiryu Shoten Ha. Say it with me--did she try to learn it? No.

Does Nabiki have plenty of opportunity for training if she so wishes? Yes. Does she ever show any sign of wanting this? No.

In short, you have characters acting in ways totally contrary to their established personalities from the original series. For all her 'I'm a martial artist too!', Akane is clearly shown not to care all that much about progressing in the Art. The thought that she would jump to join the Amazons like this is ludicrous. And Nabiki even more so--every interest of hers that we do see in the original series is something that she'd be less able to indulge in as an Amazon. Never mind the fact that as she currently is it would be easy to be defeated in battle, which would then, with her new status, require her to swear to kill her victorious opponent. And she goes along with this? Yeah, right. Unless you plan to reveal in the next chapter than when we weren't looking Cologne used a variant of the Xi Fang Gao to make the girls' minds up for them, this simply doesn't work.

And while we're on the subject of people acting unrealistically, let's consider Shampoo. Throughout the series she shows cheerful contempt for the weakling Akane. If anything, after learning that such a pretender is now free to join the Amazons, she would be LESS friendly to Akane than before.

You have destroyed believability in your quest to bring the story along quickly. You are simplifying the characters beyond the point of absurdity and sacrificing all the opportunities that a premise like this (the Tendo sisters having a 'get into Amazon society free' pass) could afford you. How does Shampoo really feel about this, about the fact that she has to accept as a tribal sister a girl who is so much weaker than her? Is Nabiki, the brains of the family, worried that if they turn down this honor Cologne will then execute revenge for the slight against the Amazons? How does Kasumi, presumably the most traditional of the cast, react to the fact that her family is not pure-blooded Japanese?

If you weren't even aware that that last one would be a big deal in Japanese society, then I think maybe you should try and learn a little more before you set out to write a story like this.

Uh, I might point out that Ranma is technically *married* to Shampoo, and therefore already is an Amazon, at least when it suits Cologne...

I LOVE IT!

This story is shaping up nicely in outline, but needs some detail work.
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First, ditch the ampersands. They're lazy and disrespectful to your readers. (Is it really too hard to type "and"?
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Second, There are many, many dialects of Chinese. There is probably no one in China who speaks "All forms of Chinese." There is no way that Nabiki could have learned "all forms of Chinese" in mere months. It's simply unbelieveable and I see no reason for it in your story. For the purposes of your story so far all Nabiki needs to learn is basic conversational Mandarin. That's believeable. Don't feel that you have to explain everything. Just explain those details that are relevant to the story, and the reader's imaginations will fill in the rest.
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Third, ditch the "[ ]= Author’s comments or opinions" Authors comments within the text are tacit acknowlegements that you failed to get your point across within the story itself. And you're the only one who really cares about your opinions. Your readers just want a good story. If you really must include your opinions, find a way to work them into the text. Don't hit your readers over the head with them.
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If you really, really feel compelled to include commentary, put it in an author's note (preferably at the end).
Your "< >= Thoughts of characters" formatting is a little distracting. The fanfiction convention is to use < > for foreign languages. Thoughts are traditionaly represented using italics in all english literature, not just fanfiction.
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Keep working on it
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Pilgrim

Well, you proved me right. Damn, Akane and her sisters...Amazons! I've heard it's been done before, but I've never seen it done like this! Good work! I hope to see the next chapter soon!

I like this story. I would think that that diary makes the Tendo sisters Amazons and as a result, Ranma's true fiancee is Akane. Also, I would guess that their relatives are Shampoo and Calogne.

ok, i have a hunch as to what might be in the diary, but i'm not sure. continue this, i would like to see if i'm right or wrong.