   OnGuard 2008-02-16 . chapter 10not too be offensive, but you kinda messed up the timetable in this chapter. |
 anko2468 2007-11-29 . chapter 10 Oh...my...GOD! t-that wuz completely and utterly AWESOME! |
| Dreangeln 2006-12-14 . chapter 3 I know its really hard to write fanfiction, but I really think you should work a little on your writing, the story was good, but you didnt let the readers know the characters very well, itsounds more like a manuscript to me. but the idea is great. |
| LordHatredX 2006-08-05 . chapter 10 good story |
 swordbunny4486 2006-08-04 . chapter 10nice |
| Yoghurt 2006-08-02 . chapter 8 No Guts, No Glory was a better story |
| Brandon Franks 2006-08-01 . chapter 5 You have great potential in writing. I've come up with my own story for Naruto and will make it into a game someday. And I could this being a very interesting story. Shiro's attacks are amazing and yet simple. Good job. |
 Ayumi666 2006-04-06 . chapter 5aww, are you serious? People are dissing you story? I thought it was great! I've always wondered what Naruto would be like if he became a Jounin leader...
I liked the kids, they seem pretty tight, though the only problem i can find is the fact that they have all this chakra. I mean, how much chakra does Shiro have? That Rock Tornado and Blood Ball Jutsu were alittle over the top for a genin fresh out of the academy, eh? But i guess he's just kick-** enough for it so i won't bug you too much on it.
Overall, i really enjoyed reading this so keep it on coming. As for the flames, don't let them bother you so much. luv yas, bi |
| scienceboy 2006-03-27 . chapter 10 good story |
| scienceboy 2006-03-25 . chapter 5 dude
JAPANEESE! |
 Lahmikhara 2006-02-25 . chapter 10So far I haven't got much comments about this one apart that I liked it.
One point though if you ask me you've got a bit to much (new) characters in this one in a time spam that's a bit to short. As a result it's sometimes confusing who's who and it's tough to symphatise with the new characters since they lack a bit of background etc.
Apart from that though I really liked it so far and I will continue reading the rest of this story tomorrow since it's 3.35AM over here.
Keep up the good writing and I hope my constructive critisism will be of help to you. |
| Mrs Uzumaki 2006-02-05 . chapter 7 good story but i thought they were merried lol you might want to fix that ^^ |
| Mrs Uzumaki 2006-02-05 . chapter 4 Hey this is good dude, but there are a few things you got wrong, like the dopple ganger what is that? its the shadow clone jutsu! you might want to check that out if im wrong please corect me ^^ its still good, i love your stoeys ^^ |
| CrazyGirlofManyNames 2006-01-07 . chapter 10 I liked all your stories. |
| Shang 2005-09-15 . chapter 10 A classical, Gai/Lee training, that's what it was... but why at the end did Anna elbowed Shiro?! Wasn't it Kai who liked the exercise? |
FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination