Gosh... You complain about Hl45's fanfic's ..atleast she makes an attempt to make people laugh.. -,-. Don't mind the randomness

good job. keep writing.

I didn't know you wrote a Naruto fic...

Naruto's pretty much perfectly in character for that point of the series.

Naruto mangaka=Kishimoto Masashi
Chounin=chuunin
Sa=emphasis particle, mainly "masculine", I think. This moves his "uh, um" up towards "OMG HEY LISTEN!" Naruto is pushy and attention-deprived. :P

The word "ninja" is no longer considered foreign in English, just originating from a foreign tongue. So, "ninjas" is also acceptable as a plural. It sounds stupid, though, so don't think this is a correction. XD

Very nice. You don't see good introspective pieces like this very often, and it's a real pleasure to read one that's so well thought out. Two thumbs up!

I lied. I decided to write more . . .
Anyway, the whole point of my rambling about the characters is . . . well, there isn't really a point. I like the characters, and what you wrote made me reflect and think about them. That's got to be a good thing!
The only thing in way of criticism is your use of Japanese in the story. You clearly define the words at the end of the story, but I really don't see any reason for using Japanese terms in your work. Technical terms like Genin, Chounin, Kunai, are all readily understood by most of your targeted audience, so they can be used. However, it's a bit of a pet peeve of mine to see Japanese used in English stories.
First of all, there isn't as much conotation (what a person thinks of when he hears a word. Example: 'blood red' suggests a more sinister feeling than 'hot red.') with Japanese words as there are with English. Also, it gets to the point where people are just pulling words out of a dictionary and sticking them into a story- many times incorectly used. Even if the author puts footnotes, it's a bit of a distraction having to stop reading and scroll down to the end (or else wait until the end) and then have to go back to find your place. How distracting!
I urge you to write fiction in one language; Japanese or English. I would love to see a nice story in Japanese for once.
That really is only a small thing with your story, though. One only other thing I can suggest is more complex paragraphs. Some of the paragraph breaks are unnecesary. You only need to move on to a new paragraph when the idea changes, not necesarily every few sentences.
Yeah, I'm about done rambling now. Hope I didn't squish all creative energy! I really did like your story, and would love to read more (of this one or another idea, either works). Best of luck!

I really, really enjoyed this piece! It has a sort of emotional, phycological plot rather than some sort of action-oriented story, and yet you still encorprate a fair amount of action into the story. I liked it a lot.
Your take on Kakashi is . . . interesting. I can't say 'accurate' as we're never really given a whole lot of his internal workings to go off of. Only what he does. Once in a while the author will illistrate his thoughts, but usually for a humourous affect. FOr example when his first impressions on his students and his thoughts on Sakura's reaction to whatever it was Sasuke said right before fightin Haku and Zabuza. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is 'cool idea.'
Hmm . . . I wonder if Kakashi really would kill children to make his mission succesful . . . We know he's seriously devoted to protecting his team, but not really so uch about his thoughts on protecting civilians.
Naruto. He's a funny kid. That's probobly how I'd sum him up. He really amuses me; very simple, and really, really single-minded about most things. He insists on learning about the people he fights; he heard Haku's story of growing up, he got Neji to explain hiself . . . and he really connects with children! LIke Konohamaru and . . . Inari(? the little kid he met in the Wave Village). He's always saying he wants to fight in order to become the Hokage and prove himself to the people in his town, but he fights best for other people.
At any rate, my little essay is being cut short- I have to actually do some homework now. Write some more and I'll finish my thoughts/rambling essay!
Till then . . .

Wow, I am blown away by this fic. Everything about it was great, the story, the writing style, the message! Good work! Hope you write more stories about Kakashi!

Very insightful, and you have great writing style and talent. I very much liked this piece.

fabulous story with a mysterious unfinished ending. perhaps you could turn this into a longer story? i don't know, just a suggestion.
(haha! i love billy boyd!)

a good one ! ^-^

A very nice look at dealing with death in the Naruto world. Brought out what I most admire about Kakashi and about Naruto himself. Great job!

well. it's a very good fic, the best that I've read, just because of.. the storyline in it, where ninja have to lead a cold life, he 'd better have no mood.
Moreover, Kakashi is my fav.
Go on, go on
Mine is the second review, hope that there'll be more.
Go ahead!
Looking forward to see the new chaptor.
Btw, how many chaptor will we have?

There I was, sitting at my computer, just having run spyware check, and I check my email. I see an author alert from you. Gasping, hoping, DREAMING, that it's Hikari Enzan, I open the email and...
...
It's a Naruto fic. XD