A great story. Very funny.

This is cool...Update soon!

Umm...is this supposed to be a story? Looks more like 'Original Fiction' than 'CSI Fanfiction'.
No offense intended, and I'm not trying to discourage you from writing...but I really think you ought to have a few honest friends read through your work and offer helpful suggestions to improve your story before posting it.
A small formatting tip: It is extremely conducive to start a new line of text whenever someone begins speaking. For example, if you have 3 characters conversing in a scene, hit the "enter" key on your keyboard after character 1 is finished talking, and start a whole new line for character 2 to speak in, and another new line for character 3.
Readers tend to lose their focus of the story when they have to sift through large chunks of crowded text.
I do hope this review has been beneficial for you, as I prefer trying to help people with my reviews rather than hinder their desire to write.