Not bad. May The Force be with you.

hm. I must say, even though I don't follow Star Wars or any of that shtuff, this particular story isn't bad at all. Can deffinately tell a female fan of Star Wars wrote it. Next time, I recommend that you make it longer. Take the vague ideas and add detail. Details are the tiny grains of salt on a peanut that burn your chapped lips in winter. Except peanuts have too many grains of salt. Take those grains of salt and divide by three and you have the just the right ammount of detail. Once the words have appeared on the screen, sift carefully for "lumps", we want the batter to be smooth and creamy. Bake at room temperature until maximum important expansion is reached. Print, and stab with a fork to check for proper doneness.

Well, Continue please! hehe.

Love it!

You've got good ideas, but this was way too short. You need to lengthen it out. I would suggest you put in some flashbacks and more thoughts from Vader, and more dialogue, and pretty mush more of everything. You could also try describing Vader's surroundings as he sees them.

pretty cool, but way to short. this could be made into a nice little essay-type thing and say a lot more. your style's good, the voice is just a little to soft-sounding for vader, i think, but not bad.